Joke of the day

Person 2: Dishes who?

Person 1: Dishes a nice place you’ve got here!

 

 

What is fast, loud and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

 

What has ears but cannot hear?

A cornfield.

 

Funny joke of the day

Two armed men decide to break a bank and take some hostages inside.

One of them asks the first extremely aggressive hostage:

– Tell me did you see me robbing this bank?

The hostess answers: – Yes.

Without much thought, the thief shoots him in the head, then asks the second hostage the same thing.

The second hostage responds:

– I didn’t see you sir, but I think my wife saw you!

 

Two old men sat on a bench and looked at passers-by. At one point a beautiful woman passes through their face. After five minutes, it goes again and again until one says:

– He sure dies for me.

–              I do not think! Ha Ha Ha, but where do you know?

– Well don’t you see how young she is ?! He has no way of dying before me!

 

Dad joke of the day

Dad, why are you so bad?

Because I look better in that way

 

A man goes to the bank. The lady from the counter asks:

– What’s your name, sir?

– Jo-Jo-jo-hn Smi-Smi-Sm-ith.

– Are you having a discussion problem, sir?

– No, sir, my father had problems, and the clerk was an asshole and so he passed my name.

 

My best day it’s on a salary day

My worst day it’s the next day

 

Today I congratulated my mother-in-law on the occasion of her birthday. I hated to have part of everything she wants me to do, only as a double and I don’t understand why she was upset.

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