Yo mamma jokes

Yo mamma jokes

Yo Mama so old I told her to act her age and she died.

Yo Mama so old Eve slapped her for making out with Adam.

Yo Mama so old God signed her yearbook.

Yo Momma so old her birth-certificate expired.

Yo Momma so old she watches the History Channel to see if she’s on.

Yo Momma so old she was Eve.

Yo Mama so old her butt crack sealed.

Yo Mama so old she rode dinosaurs to school.

Yo Momma so old she sat next to Moses in third grade.

Yo Mama so old her memory is in black and white.

Yo Momma so old she remembers Fifty Cent when he was a penny.

Yo Mama so old when she went to the museum, the mummies took selfies with her and said DAYUM!

Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs.

Yo mama so fat her shadow weighs 35 pounds.

Yo momma so fat I can stand on her belly and high five God.

Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side.

Yo mamma so fat I told her to haul ass and she had to make two trips.

Yo momma so fat I took a picture of her at Christmas and it’s still printing.

Yo mama so fat I tried to hang a picture of her on my wall, and my wall fell over.

Yo mama so fat if she buys a fur coat a species will be extinct.

Yo mama so fat if she got her shoes shined, she’d have to take his word for it.

Yo momma so fat Mount Everest tried to climb her.

Yo mama so fat she can’t even jump to a conclusion.

Yo momma so fat she can’t fit in any timeline.

Yo momma so fat she can’t fit in this joke.

Yo mamma so fat she doesn’t skinny dip, she chunky dunks.

Yo mamma so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo Mama so poor I swatted a firefly and she said, “Who turned off the light?”

Yo Mama so poor I went through her front door and ended up in the back yard.

Yo Mama so poor Nigerian scammers wire HER money.

Yo Mama so poor she can’t afford a free sample.

Yo Momma so poor she can’t afford to pay attention.

Yo Mama so poor she can’t even put her two cents in this conversation.

Yo Mama so stupid she bought tickets to Xbox Live.

Yo Mama so stupid she brought a ladder to go to high school.

Yo Momma so stupid when someone stole her TV, she ran after them shouting, “You forgot the remote”.

Yo Momma so stupid she cut holes in her umbrella to see if it was raining.

Yo Mama so stupid she disses her kids with Yo Mama jokes.

Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.

Yo Mama so dirty she’s got more clap than an auditorium.

Yo Momma so dirty she’s like an ATM… Open 24 hours.

Yo Mama so dirty she’s like a fan… Always blowing someone.

Yo Mama so dirty she’s like a streetlamp… You can find her turned on at night on any street corner.

Yo Mama so dirty she has a sign by her crotch which says, “Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts”.

Yo Mama so ugly she had to trick or treat over the phone.

Yo Momma so ugly she made a Happy Meal cry.

Yo Mama so ugly the last time I saw anything like her face, I pinned the tail on it.

Yo Momma so ugly the dog closes his eyes when he humps her leg.

Yo Mama so ugly she went into a haunted house with tickets and came out with a job.

Yo Mama so ugly her portraits hang themselves.

 

It’s quite weird when you go to the Zoo and the animals recognize you as one of them. If you want to know how that feels just say ‘Yo mamma’. In a hot summer day Yo mamma was walking through the Zoo with her friends. Everything seemed fine. They admired the lions, the panthers, the leopards and the giraffes. But when they god close to the elephants, they tried to throw peanuts at her. They kept going till they got to the monkeys. Here, some monkeys gave her a pile of bananas. The weird situation didn’t end here, not even when they came across the reptiles, where a boa strangled a rat and offered its legs to Yo mamma. The Zoo workers said that they’ve never seen such thing, but they could tell for sure that Yo mamma is an animal.

The financial situation of Yo mamma is not so good. She’s poor and helpless. She has no money. The lack of money alongside with her lack of beauty, of intelligence and any other quality would make you wonder how she succeeded in finding a man. Nobody really knows but must certainly it was a desperate one.

This joke is twice Yo mamma because it is said, not only that Yo mamma is a little stupid, but that she’s also at her scale.