Do you like jokes with special protagonists such as vampires, zombies and monsters?
Then you will surely like those jokes with ghosts, who always know how to keep their sense of humor.
If I have already piqued your curiosity, I have prepared a few for you, in the lines below.
No, it’s not Halloween, it’s just ghost jokes
– Dad, do you believe in ghosts?
– No, son. There is no such thing.
– But the maid told me that they exist.
– Then pack as fast as you can. We were leaving here as soon as possible.
– Why?
– We don’t have maids!!!
Two friends are discussing:
– I am more than worried! My wife wants to leave me!
– Why?
– A ghost is having fun on my account.
Every night, he pulls me out of bed and takes me to the kitchen on the couch and puts the phone to my ear.
Of course I sleep, but my wife thinks I talk to someone else at night.
A child returns from school and cries from dawn
– Mom, the children tell me I’m a ghost!
– Leave it, mother, children are bad, you don’t have to worry. Now
come to the table, because in the afternoon I have a schedule to cover and I want to take you with me!
Why do cemeteries have fences?
Because people die to get in, and ghosts die to get out
there.
In an old medieval castle in England, a group of tourists is under attack by somewhat unfriendly ghosts. One of them, who seemed to be the boss of everyone, says to the tourists:
– Only the one who knows a new bank escapes!
I warn you, we have internet too
We are on Facebook!
Why do ghosts only come out at 12 at night?
Because all the dogs fell asleep.
A ghost talks to the owner of the haunted house:
I’m a little embarrassed to ask, but still… do you think you could lend me your girl for Halloween?
– What do you get if you cross a ghost with a math teacher?
– A lot of problems that will haunt you until the end!
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Goodbye.
Why can’t ghosts hide?
Because you can see everything through them.
When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
In two situations: When you are a mouse or… a ghost.
If you have recently moved to another house and you want to see where the noises that disturb you in the middle of the night are coming from, and you discover that there is no cat in the middle, delete it from there as quickly as you can!
The house is haunted!
If you are being followed by a ghost, it is expected that you will fall at least twice.
Even if it seems to you that the ghost is not very fast, you can be sure that, in the end, it will catch you.
If you run out of gas in a deserted place, don’t go to the nearest abandoned house to look for a phone.
If it seems strange to you that your car won’t start even though you have a three-quarters full tank, don’t hesitate to call the ghost hunters… because they know better.
Why can’t you play hide and seek with a ghost?
Because it always stands out!
Because you can see everything through it!
What good is a ghost?
To clarify that even if you don’t understand something, that doesn’t mean that thing doesn’t exist.
You know the feeling you get when someone hugs you at night, and pulls you closer, it’s something indescribable. Especially when you know you live alone…
I hung a thing on my terrace that drives away evil spirits.
Now I managed to get rid of the ghosts, but the problem is that I can’t find my wife anymore…
For the holidays, surprise your loved ones:
Stop procrastinating and start haunting them!
On Halloween night, go to the kitchen and turn on the gas.
Come back in 30 minutes and light a match.
Your loved one’s name will appear on the ceiling!
I stayed at this haunted hotel, what else…
I’ll tell you, the ghosts were great, but the towels were so thick that I barely managed to close the suitcase!
A ghost tells: I once tried to haunt a girl who had a parrot.
That creature’s mouth didn’t shut up for a moment…
Neither I nor the parrot had time to say a word.
Tourist promotion:
Come on vacation in Honolulu, here you can find everything for the whole family.
Sand for children!
Sun for the ladies!
Young girls for men!
Ghosts for thrill-seekers!
Sharks for mother-in-law!!!