Funny puns

How do you say a pun to a crow?

Cra, cra!


What a man tell to his woman when they are a restaurant?

Do you bring with you the meal tickets?

No, I forget it

Ohhh, tonight we hire at the restaurant


How do you get a number of a woman?

I know numerology, give me your number and I will tell you how will be your future in the next 5 minutes


Start a pun with this: “Hmmm…”

You will gain the attention for sure!


Why animals are full of hair? Because thei never shaved


  1. What’s the biggest pan in the world?




  1. I told my girlfriend to come with me at shopping. A big mistake!




  1. What do snowmen do in their spare time?

Just chilling.


  1. Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross.

But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer.


  1. Care to seduce a large woman? Piece of cake.


  1. What to say to a hitch-hiker with just one leg?

Hop in.



  1. Why is there some music coming out of your printer?

That will be the paper jamming again!


  1. Which bees produce milk? The boo-bees!


  1. Do you know how they make holy water? They boil the hell out of it!


  1. Velcros are just a big rip-off.


He said “Dream on Mike.” I think that was really nice of him to let me slep more.