Funny jokes

 

Top 20 funniest jokes

 

1. How does a man take an important decision?

He covers his head with his hands, closes his eyes, thinks profoundly, he listens to his conscience and then says with determination:

“Wife, how do you think we should do?”

 

2. – Love, give me the baby.

– Wait to cry.

– To cry? Why?

– Because I can not find him!!!

 

3. Two friends in the park:

– Hear, who will you vote for at the next election?

– With Ali Baba and the 40 thieves.

– How is that?

– To make sure it’s only 40.

 

4. – Mom, I have to give you two news. One good and one bad.

– Tell me the good one.

– I finally passed a test.

– Bravo! And the bad one?

– It was a pregnancy test.

 

5. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ‘Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!’ The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ‘The driver just insulted me!’ The man says: ‘You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.

 

 

6. – Johnny, where did you go?

-I was in a clinic where doctors cut me the mood to smoke.

– Well, I see you smoke!

– Yes, but without the mood to smoke.

 

7.    Two mothers:

– Tell your son to stop imitating me!

– Jack, stop acting like an idiot!

 

8. – You know my brother ride a bicycle from four years?

– Wow, that means get far already…

 

9. – Love, I’m pregnant! What would you like it to be?

– A joke?

 

10. – Hey girl, I’m good makeup?

– No, your face is still visible!

 

11. I want to lose weight following the apple diet. I buy an iPhone X and I have no money for anything else.

 

12.- Please respect you not to urinate in the pool.

– But everyone does it!

– Yes, but not on the trampoline.

 

13. – You want to be my sun?

– Yeah sure!

– Then run at 150,000,000 kilometers from me!

 

14. – I want to confess that I’m in love with your daughter, not because you’re a rich family.

– So, which of the four?

– Does not matter!

 

15. Two friends:

– My lover finally told me about marriage after three years of relationship.

– And what did he say to you?

– She has a husband and three children.

 

16.Why do diabetics never get revenge? Because revenge is sweet!

 

17. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ‘Amal.’ The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan’. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, “But they are twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.

 

18. Ad:

  • I wanted your wife. I’m waiting for very serious offers.

Thousands of identical answers:

  • I can offer my wife. Are you interested?

 

19. If you are a man, be a man smiling and exudes joy because this will influence the others. They can not stand around you angry too long if you’re good mood.

 

20. An aeronaut that is in his balloon in the air, lost its course and while he was falling he saw a man and he asks that man where he is. The man tells him that he is precisely 15 meters above the ground, giving him the exact coordinates. The aeronaut is amazed by the man’s precision, sights and tells the man that he believes he is a mathematician. The unknown man confirms and asks him how did he figure it out. The aeronaut tells him that his answer is complete and correct but it’s useless to him because he still doesn’t know  where he is and what to do, reproaching him that he lost precious time because of him.

 

Hear also the podcast for the best jokes

What are the benefits of jokes?

We all know that laughter is the best medicine and this has been scientifically proven. It is recommended to have moments with colleagues, friends or family in which you all laugh. It has beneficial effects for everyone.

We can say that jokes, benches or funny games come from thousands of years ago. People love the state of well-being, joy, good mood and nothing can be compared to a person who smiles and feels good with loved ones.

As we said before, laughter is healthy, and among the effects of laughter on health were listed:

– prevents hypertension;

– prevent and combat depression;

– increases the activity of antibodies;

– improves memory;

– strengthens the relationship between the couple’s partners;

– reduces blood sugar.

Life is too short to be sad. Be cheerful, laugh, amuse yourself, emanate joy, because regardless of the situation, I’m convinced that there is a reason why you can laugh.

Take a daily break in which you laugh and have fun, all for you to have a healthy lifestyle influenced by small things like a blonde joke or any other categories of funny jokes that are of interest to you.

We are all connected to the Internet and we have access to the information we want with just a few keyboards. Do not let the day end bad! Open your phone or computer and watch funny videos, read funny jokes, watch shows and end the day with a positive attitude that eliminates thoughts about work or personal issues.

If you read a good joke or saw a funny clip, don’t keep it just for you! You thought that by simply sharing a clip, an image or a funny joke, you can make a person’s day much better. If you are happy, help others to be the same, because some people really need some help.

 

The smile is the most attractive accessory of a woman. A woman must to smile, laugh and to be happy always. If you are a woman, do not let the worries and daily problems ruin your mood. You deserve to be happy!

An advice for gentlemen: Make the women of your life happy! Making people around you happy is priceless.

Humor is an art that must be appreciated, considering that we live in a period in which we tend to run for material goods, to be sad, monotonous and to forget what is essential. Here you can laugh about funniest jokes!

Do not give up the idea of being happy and create a habit of laughing daily or making others laugh. Influence the condition of others as much as you can through small things but effective! Oh… this is real funny joke.

 

Jokes are our way of amusement and stress relieving. In a hurry for money, we forget to be cheerful, and this also reflects on our health.

Be happy, smile and enjoy every moment. Life is very short and every moment should be cherished. One way to amuse you is to read jokes, even if it’s not your style, you will definitely find some jokes that will amuse you best.

 

And read one more joke!

The mathematician, seeing the aeronaut’s temper, says to him that he seems to be a king or a leader. The aeronaut confirms, telling him that he is the leader of a serious company. He asks the mathematician how does he know him and if he saw him on the TV. Surprised, the mathematician suggests to him to think about what he’s about to say, and that is: “You don’t understand where you are and what are you supposed to do. You ask the help of an expert, you don’t believe what you are being told and when you are proved wrong, you become angry instead of asking again. You are in the same position you were before my answer, but now you blame me for this. In the end, you are higher than everybody because of this balloon, but your fall will be fatal.

 

Do you want to have a good day?

The best way is to read jokes and feel free to laugh! 🙂

Of course, you can sleep a little more and make your self a good break fast or for your family. Put on you the best clothes that you have and go out with a smile on your face. You can meet with your friends and to speak about the jokes that you read in morning. This will make a good atmosphere.