Adult jokes

Jokes for adults, with and without curtain!

Bored, a boy opens the family bible and begins to browse and follow the drawings in the book. Suddenly, he finds the offer pressed between the pages.
– Mom, Mom, look what I found! the boy shouted happily.
– What did you find? the curious mother asks.
– Well mom, I think it’s Eve’s panties and she looked at us …

– Adult, I have to warn you that my husband is back in 30 minutes.
– But ma’am, I do nothing honorable!
– Exactly, and time passes.

adult jokes

Q: Why are condoms transparent?
A: Because the sperm can even admit the view, if they are not allowed to enter anyway.

Q: What is the benefit of having group sex?
A. If you have something to do, you can leave at any time, no one will notice.

During the prelude, the husband proposes to his wife:
– My dear, let’s try position 68 too.
– 68? I didn’t hear, what’s this?
– You do it to me, and I owe you one.

In the middle of the night, an adult man sounded desperate for Urgent:
– I do not make adult jokes, please come urgently because my little boy swallowed a condom!
After five minutes he calls again in Urgente, but this time he calmly announces:
– You don’t come, it’s all right, I found another condom.

 

Funny adult jokes

Two Transylvanians arrive in Amsterdam and they want to check how much the truth is in the adult jokes. I knock on the door of a brothel. The “receptionist” cracked the door slightly, looked at them strangely and asked:
– What do you want?
– No, don’t worry, we would like to “tweak” something!
– But how much money do you have?
– 5 euros.
– With this money you can “twirl” between you!
Half an hour passes, and the Transylvanians knock at the door again:
– What do you want now?
– Amu, when we finished, we came to pay.

Jokes for adults, to laugh with friends

Without a doubt that in terms of good mood, some jokes for adults always bring a smile to their lips. Even the most serious of people do not stand in front of an adult joke, so we have selected a few that will make you laugh.

 

An old man stands in front of the icon and prays:
– Lord, give me direction and consolidation, direction and consolidation …
The baba from the stove completes it:
– Listen, pray only for reinforcement, as I give the direction.

 

Bula, who became a minister, remembers childhood: I studied poorly at school and my mother was often called to the principal. Then, I started to study better, and my mother and the director had to look for another place.

funny adult jokes

At Yerevan Radio a listener calls:
– Why do we make love back and forth?
– Because there is no place to return…

 

One morning, a stumble comes, at the stern, to say goodbye.
Baba: – Father, I have been accused!
Popa: – Yes, make so many laps, around the church, how many times you have been wrong!
Later in the evening, the baba puts his head back on the door:
Baba: – Father, yes you don’t have a bicycle? That I can no longer have foot pain!

 

Two sperm understand each other, traveling together, on the way to …final point.
First: – Well, did I get in the womb?
The second: – Wait, for now we are in the tonsils!

 

Question: – What is the difference between a powerful English and a powerless Italian?
Answer: – None!

 

Two doctors discuss among themselves:
– There’s something in the air that leaves pregnant women!
– What?
– Their feet!

 

The mother star surprises, one night, an exhausted man, trying to jump the fence of the monastery, back to the secular world.
Mother Stareta: – What were you doing here, pagan?
The man: – I wanted to steal some food, but the maicutza got me!
Mother Stareta: – When, you bastard, tonight?
The man: – Oh, no! A month ago!

adult dad jokes

An adult tell a funny joke to his friend:

What do you think if we can go to a party to night

Great, we go at your mom to play PS4?

 

Bulisor boasts the best friend:
-Yes, my sister can put a light in the ass!
-Hay me, don’t make adult jokes with me, it’s impossible!
-Jur! Last night, when her friend came to her, I heard when she whispered to her: if you turn off the light bulb, I take her in the ass.

 

Adult humor jokes

A nymphomaniac, full of noses, reaches the doctor. When he enters the office, the doctor tells him:
– Lie down on that bed …
Nymofomana exclaims:
– Alas, Doctor, how talented are you, did you immediately realize what I’m missing?

 

Adult knock knock jokes

Knock, knock

Who is there?

An adult who will make you wet!

 

Dirty adult jokes

Make me to be dirty with you

Great, go and work in the garden

 

Two friends are talking about:
– I changed my gynecologist. Now I go to a young man, who speaks beautifully, makes me laugh …
– I prefer not to change mine. He is old, but his hands are shaking so well …

Even though many declare them to be taboo, a party doesn’t seem to be successful without some adult jokes. Each of us knows at least a few adult jokes, which he is just waiting to tell the others. In fact, there are so many adult jokes that a whole book can only be written with them. We also have a selection of adult jokes, some successful, which are just waiting to be shared with others.