Dark humor jokes

Dark humor jokes

What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?

The redneck virgin.

 

How do you circumcise a redneck?

Kick his sister in the Jaw.

 

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They dont know where home is.

 

What’s the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?

I give a fuck when my computer crashes.

 

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who’s driving?

The cop.

 

My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex

Just this morning she asked me “Is that the best you can do?”

 

What’s got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

 

Why was six afraid of seven?

seven was black.

 

What is it called when an Illegal Immigrant fights a Pedofile?

Alien vs Predator.

 

How do you make a baby float?

Two scoops baby, one scoop ice-cream.

 

What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn’t?

Ended a race.

 

A mexican with a boner runs into a wall, what does he break?

His lawnmower.

 

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.

 

A thai woman runs into a wall, what does he break?

Her boner.

 

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA.

 

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.

 

What’s the difference between a trunk full of bowling balls and a trunk full of dead babies?

You can’t unload bowling balls with pitchfork.

 

How do you get a baby into a small box?

With a Blender.

How do you get a baby out of a small box?

With Doritos

 

Whats the best thing ever?

Throwing a dead baby off a roof.

Whats better than that?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

 

Whats the grossest thing ever?

A bag full of dead babies.

Whats grosser than that?

One at the bottom is still wriggling.

 

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

 

Girls are like blackjack…

I’m always going for 21 but I always end up hitting on 14

 

Why do white people own so many pets?

Because they’re not allowed to own people anymore.

 

What do you call a child with down syndrome?

Pretard

 

What does a boy with no hands get for christmas?

Gloves! JK he still hasn’t opened his present.

 

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.

 

I can’t see the problem with calling an Australian and Aussie, a Pakistani a Paki a scotsman a scot.

or a Frenchman a cunt.

 

I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets are going through the roof.

 

Why won’t Monica Lewinsky vote for Hilary Clinton?

The last Clinton Presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

 

What do you call a white man marrying the woman of his dreams?

Incest.