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Dark humor jokes

Dark-humor-jokes

Road police at the scene of the accident explain in a TV interview about the importance of carrying the seat belt:

– Look at this man who did not wear the belt: his head torn, his intestines on the windshield, his eyes in the tree and he lose his hands. Instead, look at the one who wore the belt: looks so alive and well.

I was visiting my wife at the hospital. Before I went into the salon, I asked the doctor:

– What is her condition, any change?

“I’m afraid he does not look good,” said the doctor.

 

 

– Der mom, I want to get married with my best fried

– Great, but him don’t have a black hair, black eyes and a lot of money

– No, he only have good money

 

 

A guy goes to a doctor:

– I do not know, Doctor, what I have: my liver hurts, my back hurts, my heart hurts.

The doctor makes his analyzes and tells him:

– I’m sorry you got cancer and in three months you’re going to die.

Leave the upset guy and meet a friend at the subway. He tells him about a doctor visit, that he is ill with HIV and that he will die within three months. The friend leaves quickly, forgetting to take his hand. In the bus station, he meets another and the same story. He gets his story to the doctor and calls him to him:

– All right, sir, what are they talking about? I told you clearly that you would die of cancer in three months and you tell everyone that you will die of HIV?

– I know what doctors do, I’m pretty upset! What you want me to do?! Let everybody sleep with my wife?

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