Bad jokes

How do you know if a man is bad?

Smile him!

 

Really bad jokes

You are so dumb that you don’t see the truth in your face

 

Best bad joke to say at your school to your professor: I want to give me a small note today!

really bad jokes

 

Good bad jokes

How to do you say a bad joke to a girl on street! Stop she on the street and say: I am in love of you and I want you to be me wife! She will be surprised by your proposal, but you will say quick, so first I want to know you, give your phone number.

 

 

bad puns

A woman goes to a store to get something to cook. Although it was several minutes before the store closed, she rushes in and says.

– Good evening do you have hens?

The seller, very bored and tired, removes the only hen from the refrigerated box he had and places it on the scales saying:

– 1,120 kilograms has a gain. Do you buy it?

– You don’t have a bigger one?

The seller is extremely nervous, takes the hen, a stick in the crate and not having another one takes out the crate the same hen and puts it on the scales again, but also pressing the finger on the scales.

– 1,650 kg has a weight gain.

– I take both of them, says a woman.

Bad dad jokes

Dad can we go at Disney Land?

No, just watch TV

 

Bad jokes to say to your girlfriend

Do you want to have a funny day with me?

Good! Make me some food!

 

Dad can you buy me a gift?

No, wait to bring you Santa

But we are in january…

 

 

bad jokes

 

 

In a forest, three friends went hunting: a deaf man, a bald man and a bear.

– Psssst …, says the deaf, I think I hear something in the forest!

– Brr …, did not scare me, says the bald. My hair was raised in fear.

– Don’t worry guys, because I’m armed to the teeth, says the hamstring.

 

Best bad jokes

 

At dinner parents discuss with the child about the grades in the school and punish him for taking note 4 in the geography.

– Maria, don’t you think I exaggerated by arguing with the child because he didn’t know where Mexico is? We don’t even know.

– We don’t know, but it can’t be that far. I have a colleague from Mexico at work and he comes by bicycle every day.

 

One day a man comes home, tired. Find all the doors open, the windows open. He entered the house, in the middle of the room, who was staying? Merlucius fish.

– Merlucius fish, did you come?

– Yes, I came.

– And, what are you going to do, Fish Merlucius?

– I’m going to go.

bad joke

A woman arrives at the neighborhood store with 10 minutes to close.

– Good evening, do you have hens?

The bored and tired seller removes the only hen from the refrigerated box. Put it on the scales: 1,120 kg.

– Do you stay?

– You don’t have a bigger one?

That nervously puts the hen in the crate, and having no other, that bag still pulls it out. Put it on the scale and keep your finger pressed:

– 1,650 kg.

– Perfect, I want both of them!

 

Do you have fun with bad jokes? Read the anti jokes version.

 

funny bad jokes

 

Today was a sad day, I had to disconnect my grandmother from the appliances. I really needed that socket to charge my phone.

 

The bride, because she was in very good relations with the girls present at the wedding, before throwing the bouquet, hid a brick there.

 

Just like at the wedding, you should always go to the funerals of your friends, because otherwise they will not come to your funeral.

 

Parents quarrel with their child and punish him for taking note 4 in geography.

– My wife, we argued this kid didn’t know where Morocco is, but do we know?

– We don’t know, but it can’t be far. I have one from Morocco at work and he comes by bicycle.

 

bad dad jokes

 

Do you know how to leave a fool waiting?

– Not.

– I’ll tell you tomorrow.

 

– What’s the difference between a red and a cat?

– The red is red, and with the cat you can’t beat nails.

 

Two friends are talking about:

-How are you?

– Look, he left me the wife for my best friend.

– I thought I was your best friend …

– Now he is …