Corny jokes

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Johnny asks his father:
– Dad, did you get married at church or marital status?
– Drunk, my son, drunk, he sighs resignedly.

Johnny, in the army:
– Doctor, I’m so sorry!
– What makes you sick?
– Army!

The parents ask Johnny:
– What would you like: a brother or a sister?
– Nothing. I can handle you alone!

In the exam, the subject was “Prove that the chair in the chair is invisible.” All students write 5-6 pages each, but the teacher gives only one 10. This is taken by Johnny, who had written only two words on the sheet: Which chair?

In a car repair shop:
– And now, says the foreman to his apprentice, the first lesson: to learn how to marvel at the opening of the hood.

A couple goes to the mountains:
She: – Honey, this landscape leaves me speechless.
He: – Perfect, here we set up the tent!

– Honey, I’m pregnant! What would you like it to be?
– A lousy joke!

– Grandpa, do you know how to act like a blackbird?
– Not. But why?
– Dad said we’d be rich when you fucked her.

Q: How did the Grand Canyon form?
A: A Jew dropped a coin into a crack in a mountain.

Q: How was the wire first made?
A: A Scotsman and a Jew saw the same penny coin on the street.

Q: How do you know a Jew became a Christian?
A: He started to like women more than money.

An Italian soldier enters a bar, raises two fingers, and says, five beers, please!

– Children, do you know what it means to be a diplomat?
– Think twice before you shut up!

Why are cats the best at video games?
-Because they have nine lives.

The child of a computer scientist asks his father:
– Daddy, why do we have five fingers if the mouse has only two buttons?

What did the number 0 tell the number 8?
“Beautiful belt! Was it on sale?”

What is your parents’ job? The teacher asks.
– Dad is an engineer, says Micheal.
– Dad is a mechanic, says Daniel.
– Dad is a boss, says Johnny.
– How is Johnny? The teacher asks in astonishment.
– He has 1000 people under him.
– What does he do?
– Cut grass in the cemetery.

The peak of the flight: let a fly in the sky of your mouth.

Discussion between father and son about online school:
– What is corny and fast? You know I use a PC, tablet, laptop, phone. What did you use at school in your time? The son asks.
– The mind!

– Corny joke: What animal is black with red stripes?
-A zebra that has spent too much time in the sun.

– Son, I will leave home for a few days. In my absence, you will be the man in the house.
– Okay, Dad, but don’t stay too long, you know I don’t like washing dishes.

The pinnacle of patience: To hold water in your mouth until it makes frogs.

The peak of boredom: Start laying eggs and succeed.

Top speed: Run around a pole until you see the back of your head.

The top of the living space: Living in a video camera.

The culmination of irony: To make a surprise party for a clairvoyant.

The top of the worry: to whiten your wig.

The peak of dilution: To dilute water.