Christmas jokes

Why Santa don’t give me anything this year? Because I am the Santa.

 

Best excuse to tell when you don’t arrive on time on the Christmas dinner? I was busy with Rudolf to offer some gifts.

 

A Christmas joke to say to your family is to tell them that you don’t come on Christmas day.

 

Can you tell when the Santa will come? Yes! When the children are to sleep.

 

If you meet Santa tell him this joke: “I know who you are…”

 

Now Christmas is not about the birth of Jesus Christ is about Santa. Is this a marketing? Maybe but unite people and give them opportunity to spend some time with their family. Also, you can receive some gifts.

 

Best Christmas Jokes

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can “ho ho ho”!

christmas jokes
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Why did Santa go to the doctor?

Because of bad “elf”!

 

Why did the Santa’s assistant see the doctor?

Because he had a low “elf” esteem!

 

What kind of motorcycles does Santa Claus go to?

A Holly Davidson!

 

How do you name a cat in the desert?

Sand ice!

 

Santa come to you this year? Pick up a new girl or boy with this pick up lines.

Who gives gifts to cats?

Santa Claus!

 

How do you name a dog that works for Santa?

Santa Claus!

funny christmas jokes

 

How do you call Father Christmas on the beach?

Sandy Clause!

 

Funny Christmas Jokes

What did the great Santa tell him?

Nothing! It just waved!

 

What does Santa with the fat elves do?

He sends them to an elf farm!

 

Who gives Christmas gifts to baby sharks?

The ancestors of the ancestors

 

What does Oh Oh Oh say?

Santa Claus going back!

 

Santa Jokes easy to tell

What’s up Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh?

Santa goes through a revolving door!

 

santa jokes

 

What is Santa’s favorite place to give presents?

Idaho-ho-ho!

 

Why is Santa going down in the Christmas basket?

Because it “softens” it!

 

Who is Santa’s favorite singer?

Elf-it’s Presley

 

How do you call Santa’s little helpers?

Subordinate clauses!

 

 

What does Santa’s little helpers learn at school?

Elf-abet!

 

 

What did the smoker’s father tell him?

Please do not smoke, it is bad for my elf!

 

Where does Santa go when he is sick?

To the center of the elves!

 

What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Holy Nickel-less!

 

Santa jokes

Where do the elves go to dance?

Christmas balls!

 

What do elves eat for breakfast?

Frozen flakes!

 

How do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling?

An elfcicle!

 

Who is the King of those who help Santa Claus rock and roll?

Elfis! (Thanks thank you very much!)

 

What kind of shoes does Santa wear when traveling by train?

Platforms!

 

Easy to tell christmas jokes in familly

 

Krisp Kringle!

WE LOAD ABOUT CHRIST AND HEALTH

Christmas on December 25th. You can feel the holiday spirit and people’s enthusiasm for the new year coming.

 

This is the time when the Christmas jokes start to appear. Do you remember how hard it is to actually decorate the Christmas tree, its smell, the wonderful Christmas toys, the bright decorations and the lights that are always tangled. It seems that even Santa likes to joke, sometimes going into the attic and swimming the lights.

 

A real Christmas miracle is when you manage to turn off the lights after your last vacation. A double wonder would be if everyone worked.

 

You have decorated the Christmas tree and now you have to go shopping. Everyone wants something beautiful for Christmas. And there is always someone willing to buy the most amazing things for friends and family. Statistics show that, every year, the amount spent on gifts increases by 20-30%.

 

Some spend all their money on something for the loved one, offering it because of credit cards offered by banks and which have no limit. With these credit cards you can pay for Christmas gifts and then say:

Christmas is in my heart for 12 months a year and, because of the credits, it’s in my Visa account and 12 months. If you need a fun day, here is the best choice. Send us your opinion or joke and we will consider it.

As for Christmas gifts:

I love Christmas presents. They are amazing and I can’t wait to change them.

 

Cristmas and Santa Jokes

Christmas in on 25th December. You can feel in the air the holiday spirit and the enthusiasm of the people for the coming of the new year. That’s the time when the Christmas jokes kick in.

 

You remember how hart it actually is to decorate the Christmas tree, its smell, the wonderful Christmas toys, shiny decorations and the lights that are always tangled. It seems that even Santa likes to joke sometimes by getting in the attics and knotting the lights.

A true Christmas miracle is when you succeed to untie the lights after the last holiday. A double miracle would be if all of them will work.

You decorated the Christmas tree and now you have to go shopping. Everybody wants something pretty on Christmas. And there is always someone willing to buy the most amazing things for friends and family.

 

Statistics show that every year the amount of money spent of gifts increases with 20 – 30%. Some spend all of their money on something for their loved one, affording it because of the credit cards offered to them by the banks and that have no limit. With these credit cards you can pay for the Christmas gifts and then say:

 

Christmas is in my heart for 12 months a year, and because of the credits, it is in my Visa account for 12 months as well. If you need a day with fun here is your best choice. Send us your opinion or joke and we will consider it.

 

Regarding Christmas gifts:

I love Christmas gifts. They are amazing and I can’t wait to change them.