Why a dirty hand will not behold by anyone? Because you prove that you really work.
Why women prefer to make love with you using a condom? Because they want to get a dirty pun.
How you tell if a person is a maniac about cleaning their house? You enter directly with your shoes in their house and you will see that they will scream!
A dirty joke starts with a good story.
Dirty jokes have to be clean to understand those who listen.
If you want a dirty job, go to sewerage.
Can you say to a woman that smells? Just try and tell us the result.
Do you want more dirty jokes? Send us your ideas.
Q: What is the difference between your wife & your job?
A: After five years, your job is still.
Q: What do you call a crying man while he is enjoying himself?
A: A tearjerker.
Q: Why are feathers the easiest things in the world?
A: Even thoughts can lift them.
Dirty puns for those who want to laugh
Everyone appreciates a good joke. And when it comes to their subject, no one is not covered. And, although many consider them shameful, there are also dirty jokes, only good to say over a glass of conversation, between good friends. If you like it too, we have a selection of some dirty puns for you, which you may not have known.
At the women’s prison, at the evening call, the director announces to them, smiling Machiavellian, the detainees bored with life:
– Girls, I have two news for you: one bad and one good. Which do you want me to start with?
– Hmm, say the good one dirty puns too…
– Tomorrow, at noon, we’ll give you carrots…
– Uraaaa! And what’s that bad?
– In the form of salad…
Q: What does an atheist say when she has an orgasm?
A: Darwin! Oh, Darwin!
What do men do after they have love?
– 5% return to the other side and fall asleep in the log until morning;
– 10% light a cigarette and then read some funny dirty jokes on the net;
– The remaining 85% get dressed and go home…
Two nymphomaniac friends also meet for coffee:
– Honey, I bought a state-of-the-art electronic watch.
– Why? Was the old clock not working well?
– Yes, but I’m tired of languages, now I want numbers too.
Two sultans are talking:
– Listen, how do you choose the evening of your thirty bedding to sleep with?
– Eh, simple, I do as my father taught me: I throw a bucket of cold water over them and I choose the one from which the most steam comes out!
– I really want you to show me the recommendation, says the personnel director, addressing a young lady running for secretary.
– Okay, right away, but what do we do if someone comes in?
– Where do you think you are, sir? That you are on the net reading dirty puns? Get your hand off my knee faster, a young woman exclaimed indignantly in the movie theater.
“Well, then where do I put it?”
– Shall I teach you? A little higher, what the hell!
Question on Radio XXX:
-What happens to someone who only takes half a Viagra pill?
-No problem, it’s just that the first half is up, and the rest hangs…
At a castle, somewhere in Scotland.
Intrigued, the wife whispers to her husband:
– Honey, it’s past midnight, and young McGregor is still in the living room with our daughter. She sits on his knees and they haven’t even turned on the light since nightfall. Don’t you think you should step in?
– Know that I like lad! Save electricity and use a single chair instead of two to tell the girls a few squeaks.
– Hello, do you have number zero bras?
– Ma’am, for pimples like this, please come to the pharmacy for an ointment to use!
Two sperm meet, and one of them has a plaster head.
– But what did you suffer, little parlor?
– I have no idea, last night I think it was an earthquake, after which I woke up hit by the tiles in the bathroom and I don’t know anything
Funny dirty jokes
Q: What is the difference between a girl o a man?
A: They can wash their crack and sell it again.
Q: Why didn’t the toilet paper get in the way?
A: It got stuck in a crack
Q: How do you name an anorexic woman with a yeast infection?
A: A quarter pound of cheese
Q: How did King Burger get pregnant with the dairy queen?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper!
Dirty puns to say at a party
Why is the wine so cheap here?
Best dirty jokes
Two friends are talking.
– Tell me what it’s like to be married.
– Terrible! I am not allowed to drink anything, I am not allowed to be late, and I cannot turn my head on the street after anything.
– I think you regret that you chose to marry.
– I would, but that’s not what I’m allowed to do.
How does a man look to you as he makes plans for the future?
He comes home with two cans of beer instead of one.
Jokes dirty for kids
An exasperated man and the village of bachelor life ask the help of friends on this issue. One day a friend advises him:
– You are behind me with bad technology. With internet access, you can easily find your wife if you place an ad on the right sites.
With one last hope, the man follows the advice he received from his friend and posts an ad on a dating site with the following message: “30-year-old man, who does not want to be a bachelor, very patient and loving. I’m looking for a wife!”
The next day, he noticed that he received hundreds of responses to the announcement:
“Please be nice, take mine!”
How to misogynists the verb “to brake”.
She… comes and hits us.
Why are you so dirty?
Because I want to make a joke with you
Ha, ha, ha
Throw your clothes right now!