- Happy Birthday. Soon you can laugh, sneeze, cough and pee at the same time.
2. From a certain age, birthdays are like a reverse countdown.
3. Patient: Doctor, I get a strong stinging feeling in my eyes every time I eat a birthday cake.”
Doctor: Next time, blow out the candles.
4. You know you are getting old when you start getting birthday cards from your orthopedist.
5. Honey, you really don’t have to do the dishes on your birthday. Do it tomorrow!
6. Your upcoming birthday reminds me of the words of the old Chinese scholar: Yung No Mo
7. Thank you, grandpa. The violin you gave me for my last birthday already brought me a lot of money.
-Really? You play so well?
-Not at all. But mom and dad give me money to stop playing.
8. I wanted to make you a rum cake for your birthday. But now I am drunk and I’ve just eaten the cake.
9. -Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?
– In a cat-alogue!
10. Does a green candle burn longer than a yellow one?
– No, they both burn shorter!
11. – What birthday cake is as hard as a rock?
– A marble cake!
12. – Why didn’t the caveman send birthday cards?
– The stamps kept falling off his rocks!
13. – Why do we put candles on top of birthday cakes?
– It’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
14. Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Wanda!
Wanda who?
Wanda wish you a happy birthday!
15. – What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
– Angel food cake!