Coffee jokes

A friend to another: Whenever I drink coffee, I feel pain.

“Try to remember to remove the spoon when you drink coffee.”


– Honey, this coffee tastes like garbage.

– That’s not surprising. It’s from the garbage


People ask me if I wake up in a bad mood.

I reply:

– No, it’s just my state of mind.


A woman went to his psychiatrist and said, “Every time I drink my coffee, I get a pain in the right of my eye,”


coffee puns


I think that all coffee beans are grounded because I can’t eat them whole coffee beans.


What do you call a sheep who’s just given birth? White coffee!


This guy walks into the coffee shop and asks the waitress:

“How much is the coffee?”

“Coffee is three dollars, the waitress said.”


“How much is a refill?” the man asked.

“Free!” said the waitress.

“Then I’ll take a refill”!.

coffeine jokes


A lady came into the kitchen, sit down at the table, leaned forward, put her head in her hands, and said to her husband, “Honey, I feel terrible! My head hurts, my back is killing me and my left breast just burns and burns.” He said, “I’m gonna help you, Dear, bring me a coffee. I think I am pregnant.


Customer: Waiter, is this supposed to be a cup coffee or a cup of tea? Waiter: What does it taste like? Customer: It tastes like gasoline! Waiter: Well, sir, that would be the coffee. The tea tastes like turpentine.


Funny coffee jokes

Men are like … coffee.


The best ones are very rich, hot and they can keep you up all night.



Q: Why is all my money?

A: On coffees at Starbucks!



Q: What is the best Beatles song?

A: Latte Be!


funny coffee jokes


Q: What do you call sad coffee?”

A: Nespresso.




Q: Why do I not like hot drinks?

A: It’s just not my cup of tea.


Best coffee jokes


Q: Why Coffee is better than a Woman?

A: Coffee goes down easier!


Coffee is the most important meal of my day.


Me after I drink one cup of coffee: I am very beautiful and very fast


coffee jokes


Me: I like coffee black like my soul


I hope my teeth enjoy these 3 minutes of minty freshness before they 8-hour coffee bath.


Dad: Why are you drinking coffee at 10pm?


Me: *takes sip*


What is the best coffee?

The rich coffee


Jokes about coffee

There is nothing like a hot cup of coffee in the morning before going to work, excepting a list of jokes about it. If you are a fan of coffee or an addict, you will enjoy these jokes. If not, you can make yourself a huge cup of coffee while we enjoy these jokes.


‘Why are men more efficient than coffee?’

‘Because they are good, hot, and keep you awake all night.’


How is called a sad coffee?



Easy to tell coffee jokes


best coffee jokes

Why are Italians so good at making coffee?

Because they know how to ‘express’ themselves.


Why is a divorce compared with an Espresso?

Because it’s expensive and bitter.


Why don’t snakes drink coffee?

Because their wives make it ‘hyperactive’.


The wife brings a coffee to her husband, who was sitting at the computer very concentrated. After he tasted it, he said, ‘Don’t you know I drink coffee without the sugar?’. The wife answered, ‘I do, but I wanted to hear your voice.’

At the border between Spain and France, the officer asks:

‘Bourbon? Tobacco? Drugs?’


‘A cup of coffee, please!’ Answered the passager.


‘Did you bring me coffee or tea?

‘Can’t you tell?’


coffee jokes


‘Then what’s the difference?’

‘A cup of coffee, please!’ Answered the passager.

  • ‘Did you bring me coffee or tea?

‘Can’t you tell?’


‘Then what’s the difference?’

  • ‘ Waiter, the coffee is cold.’

‘Thank you for telling me, sir. Cold coffee is more expensive.’