Coffee jokes

A friend to another: Whenever I drink coffee, I feel a pain.

“Try to remember to remove the spoon when you drink coffee.”


– Honey, this coffee tastes like garbage.

– That’s not surprising, it’s from the garbage


People ask me if I wake up in a bad mood……. I reply—-No, it’s just my state of mind.


A women went to his psychiatrist and said, “Every time I drink my coffee, I get a pain in my right of my eye,”



I think that all coffee beans are grounded, because I can’t eat them whole coffee beans.


What do you call a sheep who’s just given birth? De-calf-inated!


This guy walks into coffee shop and asks the waitress:

“How much is the coffee?”

“Coffee is three dollars the waitress said”.

“How much is a refill?” the man asked.

“Free”!!!!! said the waitress.

“Then I’ll take a refill”!!!!!.


A lady came into the kitchen, sit down at table, leaned forward, put her head in her hands and said to her husband “Honey, I feel terrible! My head hurts, my back is killing me and my left breast just burns and burns.” He said “I’m gonna help you, Dear. bring me a coffe I think I am pregnant.


Customer: Waiter, is this supposed to be a cup coffee or a cup of tea? Waiter: What does it taste like? Customer: It tastes like gasoline! Waiter: Well, sir, that would be the coffee. The tea tastes like turpentine.

Funny coffee jokes

Men are like … coffee.