How does a fat man enter the door of the house?
Get on the side!
What does a fat man do to lose weight?
It’s simple, read these jokes and laugh.
It will surely give you a few dozen calories!
When does a fat man start losing weight?
When it only takes place in the mirror
Why are fat people so funny?
Because they have a big soul
What is so special about being fat?
You are so beautiful!
Stay calm. You’re not fat. You’re just well done.
You’ve been to the dining room!
Why shouldn’t you feel upset that you’re fat?
Because you will gain weight continuously to cover upset, you better laugh at these jokes and continue eating healthily and exercising.
Why do fat people fail to stick to a diet?
Because it involves restrictions
How does a fat man lose weight through diet?
It’s simple. You turn it into a healthy lifestyle.
How does a fat man manage to have a body like he only dreamed of or saw in movies with famous actors?
He does sports and has a healthy lifestyle.
How is it best to talk to a fat person?
Polite, he’s a man like you.
Why is a fat man more imposing?
Because he does it on purpose
A fat man goes to a clothing store and asks the seller:
Don’t get upset. Do you have XXXL clothes?
You missed the store. Here we only have XXL clothes.
How does fat lose weight in a short time?
He is ambitious and eats less!
No matter how fat you are, I hope you liked these jokes and made you laugh.
So share with your friends and don’t laugh at them but laugh with them.
Jokes with weight, to laugh saturated.
Nothing escapes joke lovers. Anything is a good opportunity for them to have a little fun.
And, as after the Winter Holidays, most of us were left with a few extra pounds, we decided that one of the best diets is the diet to lose weight through laughter. That’s why we have for you, and not only a few fat jokes, only good ones to make you laugh until you lose a few pounds.
I am so fat that I need to sit when I want to tie my shoes. Fat is a man who doesn’t just breathe the air.
Fat is liquid. Do you know that? It’s not a joke! I think too many people drink water in large quantities. The main advantage of fat people is that they can swim just by floating.
A fat guy is just a bad guy. So my doctor told me to eat more.
I think I am bigger in the mirror.
I am not fat; I am just beefy.
Please do not make a joke about fats because they can touch you a little bit. How does a fat man tell a big bucket of chicken wings? Just a small portion
Diet day no. 1 – I took all the fattening food out of the house.
It was delicious.
My wife was born four times and still falls in her high school prom dress.
I was born 0 times and have not confused my pants since March.
I do not buy fat-free milk because I do not want to contribute to cows with body problems.
My New Year resolves is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so that they look weaker.
Best fat jokes
Whenever someone calls me fat, I get so depressed that you cut me a piece of cake.
Thanksgiving, man. It’s not a good day to be in my pants.
I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year—just 13 to go.
One way to look slim is to stay with fat people.
Why is Christmas like a day at work? So do all work & the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Dietary coke: making people feel better about ordering two large Macs and a fried potato since 1982
There is always a beautiful woman behind every fat woman, so I changed her digital scale from Lbs to Kg.
Fat people have jokes to tell.
She was so fat.
She had fallen and swayed alone, trying to get up!
You are fat. Not because you’re in the family, you’re fat because no one runs in your family.
You are so fat that your husband rolled by love, rolled again and TIMED over it.
Fat People Jokes for Sisters
My sister is so fat that when we go with her to the local buffet, I see her coming and speeding.
My mother is so fat. When she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad!
Are you fat?
Go to the best diet jokes.
I like the six packages so much that I protected them with layers of fat.
You’re so fat when you went up the stairs, he said.
I never asked for your phone number.
You have enough fat to make another man.
Funny fat people jokes
I want to say that the best time in a woman’s life is birth, but she sees an old nemesis and realizes that she has gotten fat.
You know you got fat when you go upstairs and say:
“Please, one at a time.”
Do you know what normal weight is? Under no circumstances should you weigh more than your refrigerator.
A fatter guy walks in front of a kindergarten. One of the educators sees him and asks him:
– Don’t be upset. Are you expecting a baby?
To which the man says:
– Oh, no! The belly is from the beer.
A very fat lady enters a store:
– I would like to see a swimsuit that would come to me, but I don’t want to hear fat jokes because I get annoyed…
The seller looks at it for a long time and stutters:
– And I would like to see such a suit.
I told a fat girl today:
– You’re a very big girl!
My mother is so fat.
Her only good grade at school was an “A” at lunch.
You’re so fat that you tried to eat Eniemen at Grammies.
Scooters and fat girls are fun to ride until I see your friends.
In a store with beach items comes an obese lady:
– I would like to see a bathing suit that would suit me!
– I would like to see this too, says the seller!
A fat guy enters a brothel at a prostitute to cool off like any man.
Yo mama so fat jokes
Yo, mama, it’s so fat that when she makes jokes, she is tired.
But, during the act, he was constantly asking:
– My dear, am I hard?
Very nervous, the lady says at one point:
– Honey, did you come here to sing or have love?
Her: Honey, some neighbors say I am very fat! Is this true?
He: Honey, don’t pay attention to what the world says!
Come on, take two chairs and come to my table!
Yo mama is so fat that she can eat a lot of burgers
Easy to say fat jokes
An obese guy enters a fitness room for people with money and strength and asks the coach:
What is the best device to impress a girl?
Coach: I know you won’t believe me, but the ATM is best suited to do this.
An obese to a weaker one:
– When I look at you, I think there is a great hunger in the country!
To which the weakling:
– And when I look at you, I think I know who’s to blame…
Question:
– How do fats run away?
Answer:
– Eating the earth.
A heavier guy tells another weaker one:
– When I look at you, I think there is a great famine in the country!
To which the thin man, looking at the fat man, does not remain without reply:
– And when I look at you, I think I know who’s to blame.
A weak to a fat:
– Sir, yes, how fat you are!
– Yes, I know, my mother wanted twins, but then she changed her mind at the last minute, and that’s how I showed up.
Enter a fat man in a fitness room and ask the coach:
– What is the best device to impress a girl?
Coach:
– Are you kidding me with fat?
It’s always the ATM for you.
She, offended:
– Tell Me Something I Do not Know.
– Lettuce is delicious.
He and she, fat in their way, meet unseen:
– Let’s meet at McDonald’s.
– And how will I recognize you?
– I’m going to wave my belly.
A guy is invited to a party.
Roast pork is served at the table. The guy, thinking out loud:
– Here I am, face to face with the big pig!
Then, noticing that in front of him was sitting, bent over the same tables, a fat man who looked ugly, he tried to save the situation a little:
– Sorry, I don’t usually make jokes with fat. Now I was referring to the one in the tray!
Two friends are talking to each other:
– Girl, people say he saw you last night with a big, fat, ugly one!
– Come on, that’s my fiancé, he gave me a villa in the mountains and a Ferrari, the last guy!
– Where did you find such a wonderfully delicious and generous donut?
The most successful fat jokes
The extra pounds have always been an opportunity to invent many jokes, more or less successfully.
And, as British scientists have concluded that laughter weakens, we have a selection of fat jokes for you, only good to make you forget about diet and exercise.
Two friends, they both look a bit like Stan and Bran.
-Listen, when I look at you, I start to think that our country is hungry!
At least he thinks he’s chubby!
The skinny man, who was just reading some fat jokes, didn’t wait long:
-Yes, and when I look at you, I think I know who is to blame for this situation!
A slightly fuller guy, in a fitness room for the fittest like that, asks, full of hope, the coach:
– What is the best device to impress a girl?
The coach, after looking him up and down:
– The ATM outside!
– Honey, do you remember when you told me last night that you lost 10 kg?
– Yes.
– And now, why did you keep the fact that you found them all to yourself?
Two friends meet, as only women can be:
” Girl, what did you gain the last time we saw each other?
I was even fatter to have seen me two months ago! I looked like that, just like you!
Your mother is so fat… she can’t wear a belt.
Why does a fat man grow a sore throat?
From frozen cups!
Why didn’t the fat man like living in communism?
He was afraid of the regime!
What does a fat man do when he doesn’t eat?
Grow up and read fat jokes.
Fat jokes for brother
How does the boss praise the fat man?
Bravo, brother, you are great! Keep it like this!
Why did the fat man catch a cold?
He stayed too long with the refrigerator door open!
Why isn’t the fat man good?
Because he likes to eat the batter!
What does fat do with a good book?
It simply devours it!
Why is fat thrown into the sea?
To receive a roll, preferably with poppy seeds!
Which room does the fat man go to?
The table, of course!
What were your favorite childhood stories about fat?
Goat with three kids with a little salt in the gingerbread house!
Do you know what reincarnation means for fatter people?
Exactly the moment I put back the 5 kg they just lost.
A guy and a girl on a date:
“I’ll make you lose your mind,” he whispers.
– Yes, leave your mind.
I wouldn’t have it anyway if I agreed to go out with you! But with the kilograms, can you do something ???
I’m much happier since I gave up drinking coffee in the morning and changed to fresh oranges. The doctor says it’s vitamin C, but I think it’s vodka.
Mirrors don’t lie. And fortunately for many of us, I don’t even laugh.
Fat jokes… no upset
After the winter holidays, we all came out with a few extra pounds. Only a good occasion for some fat jokes, of which no one has reason to feel offended. We only have a few good ones to bring a smile to your face, so relax while enjoying a cup of tea.
A fatter guy like him says to someone a little weaker:
– When I look at you, I conclude that there is a great famine in the country!
At which the skinny:
– And when I look at you, I think I know who’s to blame for getting here.
At a party, a skinny person says to another, a little stouter:
– Sir, but how fat you are!
– Yes, I know, my mother wanted twins, and then she changed her mind at the last minute.
– Oh dear, how much you lost weight the last time we saw each other! How did you do that?
– I kept a Chinese regime.
– You mean? Did you eat only rice?
– Honey, I ate the chicken soup with chopsticks while reading what fat jokes you put on your profile page.
A fuller guy goes to a woman of light manners to feel good.
But, quite embarrassed by the fact that he was quite fat, during the act, he asked every 10 seconds:
– Honey, am I heavy?
Full of nerves, at one point, she says:
– Oh, what’s here? Fat jokes? Did you come here to sing or to make love?
He: I was your day yesterday, your day today, and I will be your day tomorrow, my love!
She: What a missed week. If I knew it was like that, I would go to my mother, read some fat jokes, and then come with you on a trip!
A fuller girl talks to another friend: Yesterday, after two hours of torment in which I thought about where to start cleaning, a brilliant idea came to me:
– Isn’t it better to eat something sweet to get more energy?
Do you know why women love shoes and buy so many pairs every time? Because no matter how much they eat, they still manage to get into them!
After the New Year, I decided to change and bought tea to lose weight, says a blonde to her friend.
I don’t understand why everyone runs away from him when he is delicious with toast, butter and jam in the morning!
Bula, politest, also goes for a walk with his wife after he has finished the program.
At one point, he says to his wife on the way:
– Do you see that fat over there?
– Yes. What’s wrong with her?
– She was called to us yesterday. He’s our new head of the department.
– And why did they put her in charge? Is she such a good cop?
– Nonsense, so we can have a heavy boss.
– Let’s meet at McDonald’s.
– And how will I recognize you?
– I’ll flutter my belly when I enter.
The most successful fat jokes to lose weight laughing!
The extra kilos were always an occasion for two things: to start a diet or tell many fat jokes!
Regardless of which camp you opt for, you can get rid of excess weight more easily if you eat enough.
So, here is a selection of the most successful fat jokes, which will make you get off your face… the sadness!
Oh, my dear, how much weight have you lost since we last saw each other! how did you do that
– I held a Chinese regime.
– So? Did you only eat rice?
– No, dear, I ate the chicken soup with chopsticks.
– Do you know what’s worse than being full and everyone around you telling fat jokes?
– The taste of vegetables.
– It’s no use making jokes about fat people because it doesn’t affect me.
The only reason why I am a little full is that a thinner body could not support so much personality.
– My dear, do you think I’m fat?
– I don’t know… let’s see… step back 10 meters.
A former friend of mine was very fat as a child, and that’s why her parents told her that the barge brought her.
I showed my wife a picture of a young woman who seemed to weigh at least 150 kilograms.
– Why are you showing me this? she asked me.
I told him that you are about to end up like that soon.
– Do you really think so?
– Definitely, I tell him. If you lose another 50 kilograms, you have every chance…
When it’s summer, fat people don’t even know who to blame: the juice with acid, because it makes them bloated, or the heat wave, because it makes them dilate?
To the doctor:
– Young man, you are much too fat!
– I know, doctor. At my weight, I should be 20 centimeters taller, but no matter how much I eat, I’ve noticed that I’m not growing at all.
I went to the ball with my wife. I entered the “Chamber of Mirrors” with her today:
– Oh dear, look at me, how fat I look. I look like a tank! she laughed, looking into one of the mirrors.
I can’t wait to see what he will say when we get to those magnifying mirrors.
– All those fat jokes are downright disgusting! A colleague more full of his kind reproached me.
– Stay calm, and don’t get angry. You don’t necessarily need to swallow them all!
Two friends are talking to each other:
– Girl, people say they saw you with a big, fat, ugly one last night!
– What a bad world. It can’t be done anymore.
You should know that that is my finance, he gave me a villa in the mountains as a gift!
– Ah, where did you find such a wonderful, delicious and generous doughnut?
– How did you manage to stop your mother-in-law from coming to visit you every evening?
– It was even simpler than I expected.
Every evening, at dinner, while we were eating, I started telling a lot of fat jokes!
Since then, it doesn’t swallow me anymore!