I am so fat that I need to take a seat when I want to tie my shoes.
Fat is a man who doesn’t just breathe the air.
Fat it is liquid, do you know that? It’s not a joke! I think too many people drink water in large quantities.
The main advantage of fat peoples is that they can swim just by floating.
A fat guy is just a bad guy.
My doctor told me to eat more.
I think I am bigger in the mirror.
I am not fat; I am just beefy.
Please do not make a joke about fats because they can touch you a little beat.
How does a fat man tell a big bucket of chicken wings? Just a small portion
Diet day no. 1 – I took all the fattening food out of the house. It was delicious.
My wife was born 4 times and still falls in her high school prom dress. I was born 0 times, and I have not confused my pants since March.
I do not buy fat-free milk because I do not want to contribute to cows with body problems.
My New Year’s resolution is to help all friends gain ten pounds so that they look weaker.
Best fat jokes
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed that you cut me … a piece of cake.
Thanksgiving, man. It’s not a good day to be my pants.
I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year—just 13 to go.
I discovered that there is only one way to look slim: stay with fat people.
Why is Christmas like a day at work? Do all work & the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Dietary coke: making people feel better about ordering two large Macs and a fried potato since 1982
There is always a beautiful woman behind every fat woman, so I changed her digital scale from Lbs to Kg.
Fat people jokes to tell.
She was so fat. She had fallen and swayed alone, trying to get up!
You are fat. Not because you’re in the family, you’re fat because no one runs in your family.
You are so fat that your husband rolled by sex, rolled again and TIMED over it.
My sister is so fat that when we go with her to the local buffet, I see her coming and speeding.
My mother is so fat. When she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad!
Are you fat? Go to the best diet jokes.
I like the six packages so much that I protected them with layers of fat.
You’re so fat that when you went up the stairs, he said. Bitch I never asked for your phone number.
You have enough fat to make another man.
Funny fat jokes
Yo mama, it’s so fat that when she makes jokes, she is tired.
I want to say that the best time in a woman’s life is birth, but in reality, she sees an old nemesis and realizes that she has really gotten fat.
You know you got fat when you go upstairs and say, “please, one at a time.”
My mother is so fat, the only good grade she got at school was an “A” at lunch.
You’re so fat that you tried to eat Eniemen at Grammies.
Scooters and fat girls are fun to ride until I see your friends.
In a store with beach items comes an obese lady:
– I would like to see a bathing suit that would suit me!
– I would like to see this too, says the seller!
A fat guy enters a brothel at a prostitute to cool off like any man.
During the act, he was constantly asking:
– My dear, am I hard?
Very nervous, the lady says at one point:
– Honey, did you come here to sing or have sex?
Her: Honey, there are some neighbors on the street who say I am very fat! Is this true?
He: Honey, don’t pay attention to what the world says! Come on, take two chairs and come to my table!
Easy to say fat jokes
An obese guy enters a fitness room for people with money and strength and asks the coach:
What is the best device that can impress a girl?
Coach: I know you won’t believe me, but the ATM is best suited to do this.
An obese to a weaker one:
– When I look at you, I think there is a great hunger in the country!
To which the weakling:
– And when I look at you, I think I know who’s to blame…