Chuck Noris Jokes


Chuck Norris’ tears cure everything.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing BBC, claiming that they don’t say the truth about his adventures.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

If you can find Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from hit you.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his pants, he just rinse them.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a Indian.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.


The Biggest Wall in the world was originally created to keep Chuck Norris outside.

If you say to Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “One momment untill.” And after you ask, “Two seconds until what?” he hit you.

Chuck Norris drives an a car covered in human skulls.

Chuck Norris once ate three 42 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 25 minutes having sex.

Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He love sheep and the fresh milk ot them.

When Chuck Norris pay taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of with his person.

The quickest way to a knock out a man is with Chuck Norris’ fist.

Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009 after his flower will be the Mesopotamia.

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris arrived their and create a huge implosion.

Chuck Norris once shot down a French fighter plane with his finger and say “Ohhh!”


Chuck Noris is so strong that when it rains, the water drops away from him.

Legend has it that Chuck Noris went into the jungle without even a weapon, and when a lion jumped on him, he broke his teeth and left.

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