Coffee jokes

A friend to another: Whenever I drink coffee, I feel a pain.

“Try to remember to remove the spoon when you drink coffee.”


– Honey, this coffee tastes like garbage.

– That’s not surprising, it’s from the garbage


People ask me if I wake up in a bad mood……. I reply—-No, it’s just my state of mind.


A women went to his psychiatrist and said, “Every time I drink my coffee, I get a pain in my right of my eye,”


coffee puns


I think that all coffee beans are grounded, because I can’t eat them whole coffee beans.


What do you call a sheep who’s just given birth? De-calf-inated!


This guy walks into coffee shop and asks the waitress:

“How much is the coffee?”

“Coffee is three dollars the waitress said”.


“How much is a refill?” the man asked.

“Free”!!!!! said the waitress.

“Then I’ll take a refill”!!!!!.

coffeine jokes


A lady came into the kitchen, sit down at table, leaned forward, put her head in her hands and said to her husband “Honey, I feel terrible! My head hurts, my back is killing me and my left breast just burns and burns.” He said “I’m gonna help you, Dear. bring me a coffe I think I am pregnant.


Customer: Waiter, is this supposed to be a cup coffee or a cup of tea? Waiter: What does it taste like? Customer: It tastes like gasoline! Waiter: Well, sir, that would be the coffee. The tea tastes like turpentine.


Funny coffee jokes

Men are like … coffee.


The best ones are very rich, hot and  they can keep you up all night.



Q: Why is my all money?

A: On coffees at Starbucks!



Q: What is best Beatles song?

A: Latte Be!




Q: What do you call sad coffee?”

A: Despresso.




Q: Why do I not like hot drinks?

A: It’s just not my cup of tea.


Best coffee jokes

Q: Why Coffee is better than a Woman?

A: Coffee goes down easier!


The coffee is the most important meal of my day


Me after I drink one cup of coffee: I am very beautiful and very fast

coffee jokes


Me: I like coffe black like my soul


I hope my teeth enjoy these 3 minutes of minty freshness before thei 8-hour coffe bath.


Dad: Why are you drinking coffee at 10pm?


Me: *takes sip*


What is the best coffee?

The rich coffe


Jokes about coffee

There is nothing like a hot cup of coffee in the morning before going to work, excepting a list of jokes about it. If you are a fan of coffee, or an addict of it, you will enjoy these jokes. If not, you can make yourself a huge cup of coffee while we enjoy these jokes.


‘Why are men more efficent than coffee?’

‘Because they are good, hot and keep you awake all night.’


How is called a sad coffee?



Easy to tell coffee jokes

Why are italians so good at making coffee?

Because they know how to ‘espress’ thelselves.


Why is a divorce compared with an Espresso?

Because it’s expensive and bitter.


Why don’t snakes drink coffee?

Because their wives make it ‘viperactive’.


The wife brings a cup of coffee to her husband who was sitting at the computer very concentrated. After he tasted it he said ‘Don’t you know I drink coffee without sugar?’. The wife answered ‘ I do, but I wanted to hear your voice.’

At the border between Spain and France the officer asks:

‘Bourbon? Tobacco? Drugs?’


‘A cup of coffee, please!’ Answered the passager.


‘Did you bring me coffee or tea?

‘Can’t you tell?’




‘Then what’s the difference?’

‘A cup of coffee, please!’ Answered the passager.

  • ‘Did you bring me coffee or tea?

‘Can’t you tell?’


‘Then what’s the difference?’

  • ‘ Waiter, the coffee is cold.’

‘Thank you for telling me, sir. Cold coffee is more expensive.’

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