Love jokes

Love-jokes

He and she were sitting on the lake, the sky was clear and I started to talk.

 

She: What is romantic is that the two of us have been together for so long. Give me a compliment to show me how much you love me!

 

He: Do you really have to ?! You know I don’t like this.

 

She: Try, even if you have a neuron and that tired one I know you can make a compliment.

 

He: You’re so beautiful that if you go through my face, it would be impossible not to notice you.

 

She: I mean, are they attractive and do you always see me?

 

He: If you think the 120kg makes you attractive, then yes.

 

She: What joke did you make!

 

He: Don’t you upset love. You are like Earth to me to me.

 

She: You mean precious and essential?

 

He: I was thinking more about the sea and the priceless people.

 

The wife returns from shopping and tells her husband:

– I have two news for you:

The bad: I’ve spent all your money.

Good: I love you so poor, as you are!

 

 

When the man feels bad, he’s looking for his wife. When the man feels good – his wife is looking for him!

 

 

A woman to a man at a party:

– You look alike to my third husband.

– But how many times have you been married?

– Twice so far.

 

 

Recipe for preparing the soup for men:

– Take a woman of 60 kg and put her near the argo for 40 minutes until the soup is ready …

 

My wife took my name when we got married ……. then the house, the money and the car when we divorced.

 

 

– Tomorrow is our silver wedding. We do not do a party, do not we cut the pig?

– Really? But what? What’s wrong with him?

 

 

– Marry me. You will live as in Heaven!

– Goals and barefoot?

 

 

Marriage is a jungle where the mighty lion is defeated by the beautiful deer …

How do you impress a woman?

Tip: Give her compliments, talk to her beautifully, take care of her, comfort her, listen to her, love her, have dinner with her, give her gifts, respect her, protect her and the list goes on.

How do you impress a man

Tip: Any woman can impress a man if he comes naked with a beer in his hand.

 

 

He and she are in bed.

He: My dear, tell me how many men you have been with so far?

Her: Six …

He: So I’m the sixth man in your life?

She: No, you’re the fifth!

 

 

Today after 10 years of marriage, my wife apologized for the first time in front of me.

She said she was sorry she married me.

 

 

 

Husband and wife are in bed in the middle of the night they were sleeping.

The sleeping husband is trying to kiss his wife.

-You dear, what are you doing? Are you trying to kiss me at midnight?

– Oh, you were?

 

The Counselor:

– Let’s try to be positive! Tell me, sir, is there something that you and your wife have in common?

– Of course, none of us wants to suck d ** k!

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