Pirate jokes

Pirates are loved by all, and movies and cartoons with them each time gather a large number of views, and one of the best pirates jokes is the following.


I heard it from a friend and I want to tell you:

“Two pirates were aboard and were discussing a glass of rum. One of them had a hook instead of a hand, a wooden foot and a glass eye. The other being more curious asks the other:


pirate jokes


– Tell her friend, where did you lose your leg?

– Well one day I fell once overboard and until my boys pulled me out of the water, a big bad rap appeared and left me without a foot.

– Yes with this hook in your hand?

– An enemy cut my hand with a sword in a battle.

– And how did you lose my dear friend?


– I was watching after a bird that flew over the ship and it did a s..t on my face.

– And how did you lose your eye from a bird s…t?

– Eh … it was my first day with a hook …

Pirates can be creepy, funny, fantastic, spectacular, but also super dumb because a lot of jokes have appeared.


Funny pirate jokes


  1. Why do pirates make great lawyers?

Because they have very good arrrrguments.


2. Why is it so hard for pirates to learn to read?

Because they spend months and months at C.


3. Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?

A: Nothing, it just waved.


Pirate jokes for kids

4. Q: What’s the difference between pirates?

A: The face


5. Q: What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?



6. How do pirates communicate with each other?

With an Aye phone.


7. What were the pirate’s words when he blew out the candles on his 80th birthday cake?

Answer: Aye matey!

best pirate jokes


8. What is regularly given to the sea around 8 am, if the digestion is right?

The captain’s log.


9. How do pirates know that they are pirates?

They think so, therefore they arrr.


10. What is a pirate’s favorite movie?

Booty and the Beast. (But it is arr-rated.)


11. Why don’t the Chinese make very good pirates?

Because they’re not very strong in the ‘Arrrr!’ department.


12. Q: Why is pirating so addictive?

A: They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!


Dirty pirate jokes

13. To err is human.

To arr is seriously pirate.


14. Why are pirates such eager readers of the Playboy?

Because of the arrrticles.

pirate puns


The puns are extremely exciting. If you have a sense of humor developed and you like pirates, puns with pirates will be exactly what you are looking for.

Pirates are an extraordinary source of inspiration and on the internet you’ll find plenty of jokes, pick up lines and puns with them. Famous, full of personality and extremely popular, pirates will always be loved by the general public.


We invite you on our site to discover pirate puns and amuse you with your friends.


A pirate ship anchors on an island, and the pirate asks locals:

– Are there sharks around here?

– Not even one sir.

The pirates enter the water to relax and suddenly feel a presence near their feet.

– Sir, you said there are no sharks in the water.

– Well, no sharks are scared of crocodiles.


Funny pirate jokes

A pirate anchors with his crew and goes to eat at a local.

The pirate boss orders a chicken soup. Take a mouth and he says:

– You tell the waiter, what is the name of this water in my plate?

– Soup sir!

– Look, wonder! I sailed for 30 years in soup without knowing what to say.


The best pirate jokes

For those who love to laugh, a few pirates jokes are a good opportunity. If you don’t know any, no problem, we have for you pirates puns that will make you laugh with tears, and which you can then tell others.


The captain of a pirate ship instructs the crew members:
-Mateloti, pay little attention to me, please! Soon, we will land. I want to remind you of one thing. If we land in an uncivilized country, it is contraindicated to drink water, and if we land in a civilized country, it is contraindicated to breathe the air.


An old pirate sits in the port of Marseille and drinks no longer standing. A passerby tries to talk to him:
-Do you know that more than 10,000 French people die every year from drinking ?!
-I do not care! Your job! I am Russian…


The wife of a former pirate captain tells her best friend that she managed to convince her man to keep his diet for as long as he was at home. After a few weeks, the friend asks:
-How’s your husband going? Did he manage to lose weight?
-Binenteles! Do you know his tattoo, which he had on his chest, and which represented a ship with three blades? Well, now it has become a boat ride on the Danube!


The Pirate Captain yells creepy:
-No one has an eye? Because I see that on that strip of land in front of us you can see a group of people!
– I see, Captain! I have good eyes. There are four sailors and a crew chief digging.
-Bravo. But where do you know he’s a crew chief?
– He’s one who doesn’t dig, Captain!


Good pirate jokes

A pirate goes to the captain:
– Captain, we have a blind crew member on board. What to do with it?
– Throw it immediately over the board!
After 10 minutes the pirate returns:
-Capitane! What to do with his dog?


A ship captain receives news from his second that a pirate ship is coming to them.

The captain tells a sailor to bring him a red shirt. The captain was asked:

– What do you need the red shirt sir?

“When you bleed, I want you not to see me and to discourage you,” said the captain.


Going by sea a ship gets to be surrounded by 50 pirate ships.

Before the fight began, the captain shouted:

– Get me my brown pants right away!