Pirate jokes


Pirates are loved by all, and movies and cartoons with them each time gather a large number of views, and one of the best jokes with pirates is the following.

I heard it from a friend and I want to tell you:

“Two pirates were aboard and were discussing a glass of rum. One of them had a hook instead of a hand, a wooden foot and a glass eye. The other being more curious asks the other:

– Tell her friend, where did you lose your leg?

– Well one day I fell once overboard and until my boys pulled me out of the water, a big bad rap appeared and left me without a foot.

– Yes with this hook in your hand?

– An enemy cut my hand with a sword in a battle.

– And how did you lose my dear friend?

– I was watching after a bird that flew over the ship and it did a s..t on my face.

– And how did you lose your eye from a bird s…t?

– Eh … it was my first day with a hook …

Pirates can be creepy, funny, fantastic, spectacular, but also super dumb because a lot of jokes have appeared.


  1. Why do pirates make great lawyers?

Because they have very good arrrrguments.


2. Why is it so hard for pirates to learn to read?

Because they spend months and months at C.


3. Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?

A: Nothing, it just waved.


4. Q: What’s the difference between pirates?

A: The face


5. Q: What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?



6. How do pirates communicate with each other?

With an Aye phone.


7. What were the pirate’s words when he blew out the candles on his 80th birthday cake?

Answer: Aye matey!


8. What is regularly given to the sea around 8 am, if the digestion is right?

The captain’s log.


9. How do pirates know that they are pirates?

They think so, therefore they arrr.


10. What is a pirate’s favorite movie?

Booty and the Beast. (But it is arr-rated.)


11. Why don’t the Chinese make very good pirates?

Because they’re not very strong in the ‘Arrrr!’ department.


12. Q: Why is pirating so addictive?

A: They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!


13. To err is human.

To arr is seriously pirate.


14. Why are pirates such eager readers of the Playboy?

Because of the arrrticles.



The puns are extremely exciting. If you have a sense of humor developed and you like pirates, puns with pirates will be exactly what you are looking for.

Pirates are an extraordinary source of inspiration and on the internet you’ll find plenty of jokes, pick up lines and puns with them. Famous, full of personality and extremely popular, pirates will always be loved by the general public.

We invite you on our site to discover pirate puns and amuse you with your friends.

A pirate ship anchors on an island, and the pirate asks locals:

– Are there sharks around here?

– Not even one sir.

The pirates enter the water to relax and suddenly feel a presence near their feet.

– Sir, you said there are no sharks in the water.

– Well, no sharks are scared of crocodiles.



A pirate anchors with his crew and goes to eat at a local.

The pirate boss orders a chicken soup. Take a mouth and he says:

– You tell the waiter, what is the name of this water in my plate?

– Soup sir!

– Look, wonder! I sailed for 30 years in soup without knowing what to say.



A ship captain receives news from his second that a pirate ship is coming to them.

The captain tells a sailor to bring him a red shirt. The captain was asked:

– What do you need the red shirt sir?

“When you bleed, I want you not to see me and to discourage you,” said the captain.


Going by sea a ship gets to be surrounded by 50 pirate ships.

Before the fight began, the captain shouted:

– Get me my brown pants right away!

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