Valentine’s Day jokes


And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars


Do you love me because I am beautiful or I am I beautiful because you love me?


If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?


I didn’t know angels could fly so low.


What would you call a woman who goes out with You? Desperate!


What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? “I’m sweet on you!”


If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, ‘What did you do?’


Why didn’t Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer’s heart? Because even Cupid can’t hit a target that small.


Grocery store flowers on Valentine’s Day: show someone you care slightly more than not at all.


What did the light bulb say to the switch? “You turn me on.”


What did the painter say to her boyfriend? “I love you with all my art!”


Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? Sure, they’re very scent-imental!


What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.


I never loved you any more than I do, right this second. And I’ll never love you any less than I do, right this second.


Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? Because it’s all heart.


Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration? Because you can really party hearty!


How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.


Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.


What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.


Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She didn’t suit his taste!


Dear men, “I don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day” is the same as “I’m fine.” You’re welcome.


I wanted to tell you that wherever I am, whatever happens, I’ll always think of you, and the time we spent together, as my happiest time. I’d do it all over again, if I had the choice. No regrets.


What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? “I’m stuck on you!”


No matter what has happened. No matter what you’ve done. No matter what you will do. I will always love you. I swear it.


What is a ram’s favorite song on February 14th? I only have eyes for ewe, dear


What do you call a very small valentine? A valentiny.


What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day? Hog and kisses!


Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn’t get a date.


The best part of being married on Valentine’s Day is having all your expectations fulfilled. Because you have no expectations.


What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?