What is the synonym of marriage?
Your own prison that you choose to go to.
How do you have a great marriage?
But, unfortunately, you don’t get into a marriage…
Jokes to tell in marriage
The best thing to say in marriage:
I love you.
Funny marriage jokes
What do you say when your husband has cheated on you?
I am happy to get rid of you!
Can someone live well in a marriage?
Yes, depends…
A husband and a wife at the beach:
- My dear John, I love this beach
- Ohhh… me too, mostly night!
If you think your marriage is a joke, do not read this:
You don’t have happiness in your life not because of your partner but because of you. T
his is because you don’t love yourself enough.
While at it, the woman to her husband: “Please tell me dirty things!”
Man: “Bathroom, Kitchen & Living”
My son wanted to know what it means to be married.
I told him to leave me alone, and when he did, I asked why he ignored me.
Yesterday I underwent an expensive and painful procedure after my spine, and both were removed.
However, some of the wedding gifts were fantastic.
My wife told me she needed more space. I said, no problem and closed it.
House.
My wife and I have been married for a few years, and my wife recently asked me to get some pills to ensure I was back in action in the bedroom.
I brought home the diet pills.
It seems that is not very much what he meant.
What to offer to a man who has everything?
A woman.
She will tell him how everything works.
As the marriages go, we do absolutely wonderful, meaning I get to sleep with my wife almost every day!
Almost months
It’s almost Tuesday
Almost Wednesday
Almost Thursday…
I tried to marry my ex-wife.
But he realized that I was only after my money.
Best marriage joke: Don’t exist
A 60-year-old millionaire marries and throws a big wedding reception.
His friends are quite jealous, and in a quiet moment, one of them asks him how he landed such beauty for 23 years?
“Simple”
Grinned the millionaire
“I falsified my age.”
His friends are really amazed, and he asks what he is saying.
“Well,”
He replied
“I said I was 87 years old!”
Marriage is an institution consisting of three rings: engagement, wedding, and suffering.
– Honey, can I go out in this dress?
“Yes, dear, it’s already dark.”
Funny marriage jokes
When a marriage has troubles, tell your partner these love jokes.
Newborn parents wake up one morning on their honeymoon, and the man suggests:
“Honey, why don’t you make us some coffee?”
The wife looks confused:
“But this is your task, dear.”
“What? Why?”
“It’s everywhere in the Bible, my dear.”
“The Bible says nothing about who should make coffee!”
The wife picks up a copy and starts browsing the pages randomly:
“See? Everywhere: Jews, Jews, Jews.”
They have been raining for days, and my husband seems very depressed about it.
He stands by the window, staring. If he continues, I’ll have to let him in.
A little boy looks at his mother at a wedding and says:
“Mommy, why is the girl dressed in black?”
An elderly couple discussing the evening:
“Honey, I’m so sorry I let my anger out so often.
How do you manage to stay so calm with my bad dispositions? ”
“I always go and clean the toilet when this happens.”
– And does that help?
“Yes, because I use the toothbrush.”
Honey, do you think I gained weight?
No, I think the living room has become smaller.
Jokes about marriage
I got furious today. I even yelled at her to go to hell.
Then, 20 minutes later, he brought me in front of my mother-in-law’s house.
One man noticed that his credit card was stolen – but never reported it.
As a result, the thief still spent considerably less than his wife.
I got lost!
Where are you?
In the car.
Mommy, why are all the cars beating their horns?
Because the wedding is taking place.
But isn’t a warning sign, Mommy?
Exactly, son.
My husband and I have been very happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
“I had it with your stupid comments about my weight.
I’m breaking up with you!”
– But, honey, how about our child?
“What child ?!”
“Oh, so you’re not pregnant?”
Adulthood is when the monster is in bed next to you.
At a medical checkup:
Do you do dangerous sports?
Well, sometimes, I talk to my wife.
Trying to read the Terms of Use on the Internet is a lot to argue with your wife.
So, in the end, you simply give up “Agree.”
Use this marriage jokes in your couple
Wife: My dear boyfriend, what are you doing?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Like nothing? Well, for an hour, I’m studying our marriage certificate.
Husband: I’m looking for an expiration date and can’t find it.
Three friends have a beer with their wives and start praising their wives:
First: – My wife is like a dragonfly!
Second: – Mine is like a deer!
The third one stands and thinks, and after 5 minutes, says:
– I do not know how to describe my wife, but mine is not very human!
At a bank, two lovers fell in love passionately.
At one point, a gentleman sits beside her, staring at the woman.
Wedding jokes for speech
Eventually, her partner no longer supports her and breaks out:
– How naughty and insensitive! How can you forget how we kiss?!
– I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t want to disturb you, but I have to ask my wife for the key to the house.
He and she are in the bedroom to consume the wedding night.
Finally, after a rather long silence, she asks:
– What is your real salary?
– 2000 $
She, with a long sigh:
– You don’t excel here either.
Dad, is it true that the man only knows his wife after marriage in some countries of Africa?
– The same thing happens in all countries, for my sake. Women change after marriage.