Funny quotes

  1. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
  2. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.
  3. If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.
  4. I am not lazy, I am on energy saving mode.
  5. Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.
  6. A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
  7. Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.
  8. I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
  9. Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said.
  10. I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.
  11. Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together!
  12. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
  13. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
  14. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
  15. The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake.