Funny quotes

funny-quotes

You have no ball to shoot at the gate.

 

If life gives you lemon, you should make a lemonade or better buy a beer.

 

With or without the belly, they are just as sexy.

 

I have 150 kg, but I know for sure that my mother was born a god.

 

Life is about happiness, and if you do not find it, with the full account you will get what you want.

 

Life is like a race where if you are a rabbit, you do not cross the finish line.

 

We are so fragile that a single word can cause us to be destroyed.

Nowadays, the phone is smarter than many of us.

 

I thought I was undecided, but now I’m not too sure.Doing nothing in this life is hard, you never know when you’re done.

If two mistakes aren’t right, try three.

I’m not lazy, I’m in energy saving mode.

Life is short, smile while you have teeth.

A balanced diet means one cup in each hand.

I think maybe you should eat some makeup every day so you can be nice on the inside.

I’m not shy, I keep my cool, so I don’t intimidate you.

Your life cannot be broken up if you have never had it together!

 

 

 

All people say that nothing is impossible in this life, but I do nothing every day.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need to.

If you think no one cares if you live, try losing a few payments.

 

“When you don’t do anything it’s very hard because you never know when you’re done.”

 

When I wrote in the CV that I am results oriented, I wanted to say that I always bet.

 

 

“Why is Christmas like a day at work?

Because all the work and the fat guy in the costume gets all the praise ”

 

Work without talent is a shame, and talent without work is a tragedy.

 

 

In this big world there are fewer people and more nonsense.

 

“Never laugh at someone else’s stupidity because it’s your chance.” – Winston Churchill

Nobody in this world is smart enough to be able to convince a fool that he’s stupid. – La Fontaine.

 

The smaller the mind, the greater the swelling of people.

 

A fool always finds another who is dumb than he who listens to him. – Mihail Sadoveanu

 

 

We, women, need beauty to love our men and foolishness to love them. – Coco Chanel

 

 

Never in your life never argue with stupid people because they will pull you down to their level and then they will beat you with experience. – Mark Twain

 

Without discipline, no matter how good you are, you are nothing. – Mike Tyson

 

 

– Why did the two split up?

– Out of stupidity!

– Then why reconcile?

– Pride is too big …

 

 

There are people who look for a life and then lose themselves in one day.

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