Halloween jokes

happy halloween

Why do witches use a sweep to fly?

Because the vacuum cleaner was too heavy.

 

Why skeletons go out only 12 at night?

Because all the dogs have fallen asleep.

 

A mother bought her son a Halloween costume to frighten her friends.

– Mom, I should get the price tag, right?

– No, let’s, we scare your father.

 

Zombies eat popcorn with fingers?

No, their fingers eat separately …

 

Two ghosts meet after a period of time.

– Mom, but what a bad smell you got!

– What to do? I have not been washing for about 30 years.

 

 

A Halloween night hotel hosts a French, a Hungarian and a Gypsy. At the reception each of them is informed that at 12 o’clock in the evening there is a ghost that haunts through the rooms.

The French stay at 12, the ghost appears. “I am the ghost with a single purple eye!”.

The frightened Frenchman jumps on the balcony.

The Hungarian stays, the story repeats itself. He’s jumping.

When the gypsy, tired of fatigue, stays directly in bed to rest. The ghost that says, “I am the ghost with a single purple eye” appears unavoidably. ”

Which gypsy:

– If you do not disappear quickly, I will do the other purple!

 

 

A child returns from school:

– Mom, kids tell me I’m a vampire!

– Come on, mother, the kids are bad, you have nothing to worry about. Now go to the table as your soup coagulates!

 

Two vampires repair a motorcycle on Halloween night:

– Give me a screwdriver!

– Here you go!

– Aaaarrrrrhhhhh! I do not want a screwdriver in the cross, fool!

 

A vampire takes his vacation and decides to go on a cruise.

Which vessel will go?

In a blood vessel.

 

 

At the gate of the cemetery on the Halloween night is the meeting point of two vampires:

– Get out tonight?

– Of course I’m leaving, just wait a minute to get something with me.

– Why the back of the funeral stone?

– If a patrol stops us? I have to have an ID card!

Sure, the jokes about Halloween are not that smart, but they are immortal. Also, there are some motifs for the Halloween jokes, written by popular comedians like Jerry Seinfeld, who wrote a series of funny jokes that he gathered in time, being inspired by the nights of this holiday and by the pranks that people do.

It is said that 3 vampire bats, one from France, one from England and one from China, were standing on a house’s beam during a Halloween night. The French one flew first and after 15 minutes come back with blood on his lips. He was asked by his curious friends from where did he fed. The French vampire showed them a house and told them that there lives a beautiful girl and that he entered on the window and drank all of her blood.

The in was the turn of the English bat. He flew on the window and came back with blood all over his face. He showed them a stable and told them that there is a magnificent horse and that he drank all its blood. Confident, the Chinese vampire throws his wings and leaves. After a few minutes he comes back covered entirely in blood. His friends keep asking him where he was and what did he do. He shows them a telegraph pole and ask them if they see it. They both answer ‘yes’.’Well… I didn’t see it’ said the Chinese vampire.