happy-halloween

I want to disguise myself using the kitchen items of my mom.
She has many things in the kitchen so I can win the originality prize in my city.
On Halloween, a friend scared me by shaving his beard. I don’t recognize him.

Last Halloween, I disguise myself in my simple clothes.
A part of people considers that I am a joke, and others consider I am creative.

funny halloween jokes

Do you know when Halloween is?
On 31 October every year.
This is the most frightening day.
I ate many sweets on Halloween and made some jokes to my parents, speaking with my mouth full of candy.

 

A friend tells me a joke:

Knock, Knock, knock Halloween jokes.

Who is there?

The death! Open the door!

If you want to send us some jokes about Halloween, send us your ideas.

halloween meme

 

Why do witches use a sweep to fly?
Because the vacuum cleaner was too heavy.

 

Why do skeletons go out only at 12 at night?
Because all the dogs have fallen asleep.

 

Best Halloween Jokes 2024

A mother bought her son a Halloween costume to frighten her friends.
– Mom, I should get the price tag, right?

– No, let’s, we scare your father.

best halloween jokes

 

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, their fingers eat separately…

 

Two ghosts meet after some time.

– Mom, but what a bad smell you got!

– What to do?

I have not been washing for about 30 years.

Halloween costume joke

On Halloween I will costume in a ghost!
Why kid?
Because I want you to don’t see me.

A beautiful Halloween costume is white
But why mom?
Because you can be original in that color

Mom can you make me a Halloween costume?
Yes, son, bring me the sheet.

best Halloween jokes

A Halloween night hotel hosts a French, a Hungarian, and a Gypsy.

At the reception, each of them is informed that at 12 o’clock in the evening, a ghost haunts the rooms.

 

Halloween jokes for adults

The French stay at 12, and the ghost appears.

“I am the ghost with a single purple eye!”

The frightened Frenchman jumps on the balcony.

The Hungarian stays and the story repeats itself.
He’s jumping.

When the gypsy is tired of fatigue, he rests directly in bed.
The ghost that says:

“I am the ghost with a single purple eye appears unavoidably. ”

Which gypsy:

– If you do not disappear quickly, I will do the other purple!

Halloween jokes for kids

 

Halloween jokes for kids

A kid returns from school:

– Mom, kids tell me I’m a vampire!

– Come on, mother, the kids are bad.

You have nothing to worry about.

Now go to the table as your soup coagulates!

 

Two vampires repair a motorcycle on Halloween night:

– Give me a driver!

– Here you go!
– Ah!
I do not want a driver in the cross, fool!
A vampire takes his vacation and decides to go on a cruise.
Which vessel will go?
In a blood vessel.

 

Are you a fan of Halloween jokes? Read also new jokes.Halloween easy to tell lines

At the gate of the cemetery on Halloween night is the meeting point of two vampires:

– Get out tonight?

– Of course, I’m leaving.
Just wait a minute to get something with me.

– Why the back of the funeral stone?

– If a patrol stops us?
I have to have an ID card!

 

Sure, the Halloween jokes are not smart, but they are immortal.
Also, there are some motifs for the Halloween jokes, written by popular comedians like Jerry Seinfeld, who wrote a series of funny jokes that he gathered in time, inspired by the nights of this holiday and by the pranks that people do.

 

It is said that 3 vampire bats, one from France, one from England, and one from China, were standing on a house’s beam on a Halloween night.
The French one flew first and, after 15 minutes, come back with blood on his lips.

 

He was asked by his curious friends where did he feed.

The French vampire showed them a house and told them that a beautiful girl lives and that he entered through the window and drank all of her blood.

 

Funny Halloween Jokes

halloween scary jokes

The in was the turn of the English bat. He flew out the window and returned with blood all over his face.

He showed them a stable, told them there was a magnificent horse, and drank all its blood.

Confident, the Chinese vampire throws his wings and leaves.

After a few minutes, he comes back covered entirely in blood. His friends kept asking him where he was and what he did do.

Finally, he shows them a telegraph pole and asks them if they see it.

They both answer ‘yes.” Well… I didn’t see it said the Chinese vampire.

halloween puns

Halloween jokes, perfect to read this fall

There are only a few days left before Halloween will be celebrated.

And it really doesn’t matter if you or your children will mark this moment specially, and we are not in a position to tell you whether to do it.

So instead, we can offer you a selection of Halloween jokes that you can’t help but adore.

Why do witches use a broom to fly?
Because the vacuum cleaner is much too heavy, they hit the houses’ chimneys.

Why do the skeletons only come out at 12 at night?
Because then, all the dogs fell asleep, and the owners read Halloween jokes.

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
Leave the fingers at the end, so they can enjoy something fresh!

Two ghosts meet after a long period.
– God, you, but you simply smell terrible!
– What can I do? I haven’t washed in about 30 years.

A black child received a set of black wings as a gift from God.
– What am I, the child asked in wonder. Am I a black angel?

God laughed, comforted him and answered:
No, you’re just a bat! How I like to make Halloween jokes!

Discussion between the girls about the party that will take place on Halloween:
– Girl, do I have to wear something special for the Halloween party?
– No, girl! It is best not to forget to remove your makeup before you come.

Where do mummies go swimming?
In the Dead Sea, right after they read Halloween jokes.

After 10 years of marriage, the wife gives her husband two plastic horns and a tail as a gift on Halloween night.
Delighted, the husband asks, smiling:
– What am I, a playful bull?
– No, dear, you can only be a simple ox!

A dead drunk guy, after Halloween night, dressed as Superman shows up at the airport ticket office.
Obviously, he wobbles as much as possible, and the travelers look at him with disgust.
Finally, he arrives at the ticket office:
– Can I help you with something, sir?

– Hack, yes… he mumbles while taking a leather wallet from his underwear.
A ticket to New York, please, hack!
I’m sorry, but you’re too drunk to fly…
– I know… That’s why I want to take a plane.

One of the best Halloween jokes:
– What do you get if you cross a vampire with a teacher?
– A bunch of blood tests!

Two monsters also go to a Halloween party. One of them says to the other:
– You should know that a good girl cast her eyes on me. What should I do?
– Show him that you are a real gentleman. Roll his eyes back.

A woman was walking through the cemetery when she saw a man coming towards her and said:

– What are you doing in the cemetery at this hour?
– I’ve lost my way.
– Do you want me to take you out of the cemetery?
– Yeah, sure. They go forward, and that man starts telling many Halloween jokes.

Top 10 Halloween jokes

The woman:
– Wow, I can’t believe what a joke you are!
– That’s nothing. If you had seen me when I was alive, I would have been much better prepared for everything!

What can use tampons and dressings be used for?
Vampire tea bags…

What is “fast food” for vampires?
A person with hypertension.

Why don’t vampires get divorced?
It’s against their nature. They bury their problems…

At a monastery on the top of the mountain, the nuns are mad with terror.

It is the middle of the night, and some terrible screams are heard from somewhere outside that bring them to the brink of despair.
Not knowing what to do, they decide to wake up Mother Abbess. Maybe she will come up with an idea. Mother Abbess carefully opens a window and asks, her voice choked with fear:

– Who is over there?
– It’s me, the vampire, a voice is heard from outside.
– And what do you want from us?

– Ha, ha, ha, I came to drink your blood!
– And that’s why you had to scare us, right?
Are you doing Halloween pranks or what?
If you want our blood, come on the 28th of the month, and we’ll solve everything!

Why don’t vampires become electricians?
Because in some circuits, you have to use a cross screwdriver!

An angry vampire enters the child’s room, pulls his ears and screams:
Do you feel like making bad Halloween jokes with your mother and me?
How often do I have to tell you to get down to the table before the soup coagulates?

How many vampires does it take to change a light bulb?
Normal like none. A true vampire does not need light.

What are the conditions to be a member of the Dracula Fan-club?
It is very simple. Just send your name, full address and a blood sample, and you’re accepted.

A young man goes to the doctor and tells him:

– Doctor, since I told a couple of Halloween jokes at a party for some time, I only see vampires who have fangs full of blood and want to bite me.
The doctor answers:
– Have you seen a psychologist?
– No, only vampires.

What does the child say to a vampire when he goes to sleep?
Mommy, turn off the light.
I’m afraid of the light.

Question: What is a vampire’s favorite animal?
Answer: Giraffe.

Why do vampires drink blood?
Because if he drank coffee, he would stay awake all day.

On a beautiful Halloween day, a flirtatious vampire receives a mission that seems impossible to fulfill.
She must find something that is more beautiful than her.

After spending hours on end looking for that something, she arrives exhausted, holding a mirror in her hand.

A zombie says to a vampire on Halloween:

– You are so pale and so cold. I know what you are!
– Come on, say what you think!
– Vanilla ice cream!

On Halloween night, two slightly smoky guys were heading home at midnight and decided to take a shortcut that went through a cemetery.
In the middle of the cemetery, they hear “pok-pok-pok!”.
Scared but also curious, they go to see what it is about.
When I got to where the noise was coming from, I saw someone striking a cross with a hammer and chisel.

– Sir, you scared us to death! I thought it was the Unclean or some undead vampire or something similar.
But why are you hammering and chiseling at that cross, especially now, at this hour?
– Those idiots from the funeral home wrote my name wrong, and I can’t go out for a walk!