Laugh with italian jokes!
Giany, an Italian focused on “only” Franco, 70, decides to marry a 20-year-old girl.
Nervous, his friends explained:
Are you kidding Italians with us?
Don’t you think the right way?
Make a calculation. In 10 years, you will be 80, and she will be 30.
Over another 20 years, you will be 100, and she will be 50.
What will you do then, that babe?
Italians have found the best way to reduce alcohol consumption:
– If you are married, drink every time you are sad;
– If you are married, drink every time you are happy.
– Calm down, love! I didn’t mean anything
Funny italian jokes
A couple of Italians:
– Love, I’m leaving the room. Do you want to come with me?
– Do you think I’m fat?
– If you don’t want to go, don’t go!
– Are you lazy now?
– Calm down, love! I didn’t mean anything!
– Now you make me hysterical.
– I didn’t say that! It is just an Italian joke.
– Aha, so I’m a liar now.
– Good! You do not go!
– Wait! But why do you want to go to the hall alone?
Racist Italian jokes
Why do Italian love to tell jokes and laugh?
Because this is the best thing that can do
Two friends discuss a third:
– I visited Michele at the hospital.
To know that, I think he won’t be released too soon.
– How do you know? Did you talk to the doctor?
– No, but I saw the nurse doing her treatment.
Did you know that dolphins are very intelligent mammals?
So, after just a week of training, do they teach the Italians who stand on the pool’s edge that they have to throw fish?
This is an original Italian joke.
Italian funny jokes
Two Italians, husband and wife, discuss:
– Tomorrow is my mother’s day, what do we buy?
– Nothing!
– You’re a jerk, and this is not an Italian joke!
– I’m not in love, but last year I bought him a place forever, and he didn’t want to use it until now!
At the restaurant:
– Guest, the food is terrible!
Where is your employer?
– She went to eat at the pizzeria opposite.
Do you know that Italians have also Jews? Read more short jew jokes.
Italian jokes one liner
Two Italians visit New Zealand. Eager for some sports competitions, enter a rugby match.
– Do you see the ones that have been crowded?
Ask one of them.
– Yeah, what’s with them?
– I bet they gathered to tell each other jokes with the Italians now!
An Italian enters a store to buy a Christmas gift.
Amiable, the seller asks:
– Is it for your wife, or do you want something more expensive?
– How do you like my new hat, sweetheart?
– It captures you wonderfully!
You almost don’t see your face.
– Amore mio, I’m pregnant!
What would you like it to be?
– A farce!
Michele comes home upset after a visit to the dentist.
Without kissing his wife, he enters the bathroom directly.
After an hour, annoyed, she saw what was happening there, especially as there were some suspicious noises.
Then, in a strange position, Michele tried to fold a slice of pizza in the back.
– But what are you doing here, Italian jokes, or have you gone crazy?
No one, no, the dentist told me I must eat on the other side for two days.
Italian jokes, always in fashion
There are many statements, more or less true, about certain people.
Scots and Jews are the favorites of many when it comes to jokes, but Italian jokes are not dismissed either.
You should not miss the following lines if you want to read some Italian jokes.
Best Italian jokes
Two thieves from Rome meet on Via Trivia.
– Carlo, where are you in such a hurry?
– I’m in a hurry to catch the fashion show.
I’m leaving out of pure professional curiosity.
– Well, that’s what I was wondering: what do you have to do with fashion?
– I want to know how the pockets will be positioned in this year’s fashion…
An Italian arrives at the gates of Heaven, where St. Peter greets him.
– Because you have been a faithful and temperate man all your life, it was decided that you can choose…
– What do you mean!?
– So, Rai ONE, Rai TWO, Rai THREE!
The key to the Mafia’s power in Italy lies in the famous law of silence:
“Whoever is silent – live!”
This is such a general rule that it has become typical of Sicily.
The following incident is reported, and it seems to be true.
During an inspection, the best student in the class is asked by the teacher:
“Tell me, Pepino, who killed Julius Caesar?”
– I don’t know, teacher, I didn’t see or hear anything!
“In a small Sicilian town, a merchant opened a trumpet and pistol shop.
– Well, neighbor, how are you?
– Okay, I can’t complain. It’s not at all like joking with Italians. I’m as safe as can be. If one comes today and buys a trumpet, tomorrow, his neighbor comes and buys a gun….”
A German notices the somewhat strange behavior of his neighbor, an Italian, at the telephone booth.
Every day, the Italian arranges his hair in front of the cabin. He enters and speaks on the public telephone without using any card or coins.
One day, very curious, the German asks the Italian:
– What are you doing there in the phone booth?
– I look beautiful, and then I ask the receiver:
“Who is the most beautiful?”
And the phone answers me:
“you, you, you….”
To impress a girl on her first date, young Smith invites her to a very pretentious Italian restaurant.
After ordering a costly wine, consult the menu to order dinner.
Although he doesn’t know an Italian grain, he tries to look as relaxed as possible and a good connoisseur, so he calls the waiter and orders:
– I would like a Giovanni Spomdaluci, please.
– Excuse me, sir, we also like Italian jokes, but we still can’t pour the boss into the glass!
A famous Italian explorer is invited to dinner by some compatriots.
Before lunch begins, he begins to recount how he spent five years among the cannibals:
– So, have you adapted?
– Tormenting, I suffered terribly, but what was I to do?
They held me prisoner!
– Alas, if you knew how sorry I am, says the host.
I will ask you to excuse me, but we only have beef steak for lunch!
Why do Italians swallow the Viagra pill so quickly?
So that their language does not strengthen!
Numerous jokes were circulating online with Italians, which were more amusing.
You probably know many Italian jokes, which you do not miss the opportunity to tell at least once because they are the best.
Tell your friends or colleagues these jokes, and they will laugh.
Obviously, the Romans’ descendants are not much fun when they hear the Italian’s jokes, but the banks on their own will not be extinguished too soon for one simple reason: they are too good.
So we also have a selection of the most fun Italian jokes.