Come to a portion of laughter with the best Polish jokes
Few people have not been “decorated” with certain jokes about their ethnic characteristics.
Admittedly, you may not have read or heard too many Polish jokes, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
We have prepared some such jokes for you, only to make you forget about the heat outside.
The Polish people are very good when it comes to making fun of German national football players.
“German football players are like German food: if it is not imported from Poland, then they are not good.”
Funny polish jokes
One enters a bar.
– Barman, give me a beer to tell you two Polish jokes you probably didn’t know!
– Listen, the bartender says angrily:
I’m Polish.
This guy (and he looks like a real colossus) is the national champion of Poland in boxing, the other one who sits and looks at you closely under his eyelashes is the biggest Polish mobster and this babe serving meals is a paid Polish assassin, the most dangerous in the country.
Hey, now you want to tell the two Polish jokes you boasted when you walked in the bar door?
– Of course, the problem is that I have to repeat them four times, so maybe it would be better to prepare a cold beer for me to cool down after!
In the old Soviet Union, a competition of realistic-socialist paintings was announced with the main subject “Lenin in Poland”.
Among other artists who have tried their talent comes one that presents an unforeseen painting:
in a glade, a man and a woman, in the costumes of Adam and Eve, on a blanket, with a large picnic basket next to them.
Jury members, confused, ask:
– What has it got to do with it?
– How, says the painter, don’t you see? The woman is Lenin’s wife, and the man is Lenin’s driver.
“And where is Comrade Lenin?”
– Lenin ?! In Poland, to the polish, as you requested.
Two polish talks about their friend who emigrated to America some time ago.
– Have you heard of Bartek?
I read in the newspaper that he opened a jewelry store after only one year in America!
– He’s always been good.
How did he do that?
– In classic mode, he used a crowbar.
Polish jokes for kids
Q: Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used?
A: No matter where you sat, you were behind a pole next to two polish.
Why are Polish kids so funny?
Because they are funny
A Pole, an African and a Jew catch a magic goldfish.
As usual, in exchange for his release, the magic goldfish promises to give everyone a wish.
The African begins:
I want all Africans to return to Africa and make a great country together!
It’s the Jew’s turn:
I want all Jews to return to Israel!
Then the fish asks the Pole what wish he would like to be fulfilled:
Well, I think that after listening to the two of them, I don’t have any!
Polish jokes with no offense
Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly?
A: They turned their backs, and most Polish thought they were leaving.
Why are Polish people so tall?
Because they eat seeds from birth
Why are Polish so happy?
Because they like to drink vodka