Joke of the day

Joke of the day

 

Two construction workers, working on scaffolding at the front of a building, talk to each other:

– Tell me, how did you know your wife?

– We were colleagues at the Faculty of Civil Engineering.

– What college ?! Stop lying!

– Yeah, I was a maintenance craftsman and she sold juices to the kiosk!

 

 

– Jessica, you smoke? Since?

– From that night, when my husband returned from the delegation earlier and found a cigar in the ashtray.

 

 

– Hello, I want a job.

– We have something very well paid, but it’s a lot of work.

– No, thanks. If I have money, I give her the drink.

“Then we have a place where you do not have much work, but it’s badly paid.

– No, because if I have time, I get some money and give her the drink. Do not you have something to work on all day and be unpaid?

– I’m sorry, but you do not have any higher education.

 

 

Last night I was at a meeting with a beautiful woman at a restaurant.

I told her that women should not be left to do all the chores in the household: cleaning, washing, ironing, cooking, and all that.

 

– I think the roles should be reversed, I say, men should do all the things women do, and women do all the things that men do.

“I’m perfectly in agreement,” she says, smiling.

“Wonderful, I answer them, stretching their payment note.

 

Q: Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?

A: So he could tie the score.

 

Q:What do you call a bear with no socks on?

A:Barefoot

 

What would you call two banana skins?

A: A pair of slippers

Q: What’s the most musical part of the chicken?

A: The drumstick.

 

Q: What do you call a group of disorganized cats?

A: A cat-tastrophe.

 

Q: How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?

A: Ten-tickles.

 

 

Person 1: Knock-knock.

Person 2: Who’s there?

Person 1: Imma.

Person 2: Imma who?

Person 1: Imma gettin’ tired of waiting — let me in!

 

Person 1: Knock-knock.

Person 2: Who’s there?

Person 1: Roach.

Person 2: Roach who?

Person 1: Roach you a letter. Didn’t you get it?

 

Person 1: Knock-knock.

Person 2: Who’s there?

Person 1: Dishes.

Person 2: Dishes who?

Person 1: Dishes a nice place you’ve got here!

 

 

What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A dino-snore!

 

 

What is fast, loud and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

 

 

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

 

 

What has ears but cannot hear?

A cornfield.