Joke of the day

Are you looking for the joke of the day? Great because today is the best day to read this jokes:

An cicada tell to an ant:

  • I sing all the summer, all the forest know me, I am famous, I am the best musician
  • Great! I will see what you will do at autumn and winter.
  • Today is my day!
  • Happy birthday!

 

Do you know why lions are the kings of the jungle?

Because they have crown!

joke of the day

 

Do you know why a marriage is the best thing for you?

My neither…

 

How you refuse a proposal of marriage?

Tell him: I will think about that

 

In this days a joke is to go on the street and be your self, with the phone in your hands, headphones and sadness in your face. Read this on your cell phone and rise your eyes to the sky.

 

Best joke of the day

 

Two construction workers, working on scaffolding at the front of a building, talk to each other:

– Tell me, how did you know your wife?

– We were colleagues at the Faculty of Civil Engineering.

– What college ?! Stop lying!

– Yeah, I was a maintenance craftsman and she sold juices to the kiosk!

 

jokes of the day

 

– Jessica, you smoke? Since?

– From that night, when my husband returned from the delegation earlier and found a cigar in the ashtray.

 

 

– Hello, I want a job.

– We have something very well paid, but it’s a lot of work.

– No, thanks. If I have money, I give her the drink.

“Then we have a place where you do not have much work, but it’s badly paid.

– No, because if I have time, I get some money and give her the drink. Do not you have something to work on all day and be unpaid?

– I’m sorry, but you do not have any higher education.

 

Clean joke of the day

Last night I was at a meeting with a beautiful woman at a restaurant. Clean my table right now!

I told her that women should not be left to do all the chores in the household: cleaning, washing, ironing, cooking, and all that.

 

– I think the roles should be reversed, I say, men should do all the things women do, and women do all the things that men do.

“I’m perfectly in agreement,” she says, smiling.

“Wonderful, I answer them, stretching their payment note.

best jokes ever

 

 

What would you call two banana skins?

A: A pair of slippers

Q: What’s the most musical part of the chicken?

A: The drumstick.

 

Q: What do you call a group of disorganized cats?

A: A cat-tastrophe.

 

Knock knock joke of the day

Person 1: Knock-knock.

Person 2: Who’s there?

Person 1: Imma.

Person 2: Imma who?

Person 1: Imma gettin’ tired of waiting — let me in!

 

Person 1: Knock-knock.

Person 2: Who’s there?

Person 1: Roach.

Person 2: Roach who?

Person 1: Roach you a letter. Didn’t you get it?

 

Person 1: Knock-knock.

Person 2: Who’s there?

Person 1: Dishes.

Person 2: Dishes who?

Person 1: Dishes a nice place you’ve got here!

 

 

What is fast, loud and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

 

What has ears but cannot hear?

A cornfield.

 

Funny joke of the day

Two armed men decide to break a bank and take some hostages inside.

One of them asks the first extremely aggressive hostage:

– Tell me did you see me robbing this bank?

The hostess answers: – Yes.

Without much thought, the thief shoots him in the head, then asks the second hostage the same thing.

The second hostage responds:

– I didn’t see you sir, but I think my wife saw you!

 

Two old men sat on a bench and looked at passers-by. At one point a beautiful woman passes through their face. After five minutes, it goes again and again until one says:

– He sure dies for me.

–              I do not think! Ha Ha Ha, but where do you know?

– Well don’t you see how young she is ?! He has no way of dying before me!

 

Dad joke of the day

Dad, why are you so bad?

Because I look better in that way

 

Read also the funniest jokes

 

A man goes to the bank. The lady from the counter asks:

– What’s your name, sir?

– Jo-Jo-jo-hn Smi-Smi-Sm-ith.

– Are you having a discussion problem, sir?

– No, sir, my father had problems, and the clerk was an asshole and so he passed my name.

 

My best day it’s on a salary day

My worst day it’s the next day

 

Today I congratulated my mother-in-law on the occasion of her birthday. I hated to have part of everything she wants me to do, only as a double and I don’t understand why she was upset.